The postman always rings twice

When I started this blog five years ago, I knew that I was gonna get hate mail.  It was inevitable, given my own strong opinions and the nature of the topics I write on.  I try to be as fair as I can, but I have no problem with identifying bullshit as such, and that has the effect of pissing a lot of people off.

The thing that never fails to amaze me, though, is which posts get people stirred up.  I write a post comparing Donald Trump to Hitler, and nary a peep.  And yesterday I get two -- count 'em, two -- vitriolic screeds, one from the post I did in 2013 about the claim that hair is basically extended nerve endings, and the other about the claim I looked at a year earlier that there are giant glass pyramids on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean that collect and focus cosmic ray energy.

The first one lambasted me for not going out and doing a study on the topic myself before criticizing it, despite the fact that the story I was responding to had no evidence presented whatsoever except for an alleged study by someone whose name was changed to protect privacy.  Because, presumably, studying hair is frowned upon by the scientific community and could result in death threats, or something.  The original article was also laced with claims that were demonstrably false (such as that hair "emits electromagnetic energy").  But I guess my pointing this out pasted a target on my chest:

Humans have predators in the natural world...you're trying to say that our primitive ancestors were as lazy and non-attentive as some random douche canoe 'skeptic' on his computer, shovelling Bugles into his mouth in his Family Guy jammie pants?  HA!  No. They slept in fucking trees to stay alive (hence the hypnic jerk) and had to intuit and be aware of their surroundings.

No, what I'm saying is that hair, being dead strands of keratin, are not nerves.  Being that I teach a neuroscience class, I'm well aware that we have sense organs, and the evolutionary origins thereof.

You honestly believe that there is NO WAY somebody with longer hair might be able to sense changes in the wind, movements from other animals around them, foreign predatory energy (as in E=MC squared) approaching?  REALLY?  It makes SO much sense, that it warrants a study, and it should be done.

Actually, if you'll read what I wrote, you'll see that I did say that hair increases skin sensitivity, and that whiskers in many animals function as tactile sensors.  And did you really just say that Einstein's mass/energy equivalence has something to do with picking up "foreign predatory energy?"

And as far as this warranting a study, I'll simply quote Christopher Hitchens: "What is asserted without proof may be dismissed without proof."

You clearly have no fucking CLUE what you're talking about, and that's coming from somebody who actually comes from the scientific community.  Stop trying to play scientist; you're bad at it.  So many of you Atheist/skeptics/whatever say the things you BELIEVE a scientist would say, when they would NEVER say it; you don't have the knowledge to back a claim, and just go around saying something is bullshit because you think it makes you appear intelligent...but something you clearly don't know is that an actual researcher or scientist would know WITHOUT A DOUBT that something was correct or incorrect before saying so.

 Cf. my earlier comment about my teaching neuroscience.  Your move.

[image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]

The second one was, if possible, even snarkier.  It began as follows:

The thing that makes me fucking angry about idiots like yourself is that you dismiss stuff you've never seen.

Another quote comes to mind, this one from Delos McKown, to wit: "The invisible and the nonexistent look very much alike."  But point made.  I've never been to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.  Do continue.

If something doesn't fit the way you think the world is, you say it doesn't exist, piss on it, and walk away. 

It's hard to see how I'd piss on something that doesn't exist.  Even worse, how I'd piss on a nonexistent object that's not at the bottom of the Atlantic.  But all purely mechanical problems aside, I guess I was a little dismissive.

How do you know what the effects of cosmic rays are on the energy of the planet?  You talk like you have proof that pyramids couldn't be channelers of energy, but you can't prove it because you never leave your fucking armchair long enough to do anything but scoff.

I get out of my armchair pretty frequently, actually.  As far as how I know what cosmic rays can and cannot do, I once again feel obliged to point out that I have a degree in physics, teaching certificates in physics, biology, chemistry, and mathematics, and the ability to read.  Those put together give me at least a reasonably good ability to understand actual science.

And another thing: there's this fallacy called "shifting the burden of proof."  If you make an outrageous statement -- such as there being giant glass pyramids in the ocean that focus quantum energy frequency vibrations -- it is not the responsibility of those who say "bullshit" to prove they don't exist.

The pyramid guy ended by saying:

I bet you don't even have the balls to post this comment on your blog.  People like you hate it when you're challenged, because you want to be right without doing any work.  Anyhow, fuck you.

You're right that I'm not posting it, because it is, as you point out, my blog.  (Although I am writing an entire post about it instead, the irony of which does not escape me.)  Let me be plain about this: commenting is a privilege, not a right.  I'm happy to post contrary points-of-view -- not that I enjoy being wrong, mind you, but having new information brought to light is how we learn.  I've more than once printed retractions when I have been dead wrong, an experience which is profoundly humbling but is necessary for honesty's sake.

But it's a little frustrating to be accused of being a shallow-minded scoffer by people who retort with shallow-minded scoffing.  If someone has legitimate science -- not just a screaming post of "it could be so, and you can't prove it isn't" -- I'm happy to listen.

Until then, I'm sticking with my original stance, and don't expect me to rise to the bait and argue with you.  Or even post your comment.  Call me a douche canoe skeptic, but there you are.

In any case: keep those cards and letters coming.  I'm not fond of hate mail, but as Brendan Behan put it, "There's no such thing as bad publicity."  If people are sending hate mail, at least they're reading what I write, and there's nothing wrong with that.

The Cosmic Glass Pyramids of Doom

In yet another example of a fact-free, zero-evidence claim spinning its way around the internet, we now have a story about giant glass pyramids being discovered on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean.  (Source)

These "strange underwater structures... 200 meters high, made of a crystal-like substance" were allegedly discovered from sonar surveying done by a "Dr. Verlag Meyer."  This sent up a red flag immediately, because "Verlag" isn't a first name, it's a German word meaning "publishing house."  But sometimes people have weird names, so I decided to do a quick look, and I could find no scientist named "Verlag Meyer," much less one with any credible links to oceanographic research.  "Dr. Verlag Meyer" seems to be as unreal as the glass pyramids he allegedly discovered.

That hasn't stopped the claim from circulating, of course.  What I find most annoying, however, is the way the sources on this topic pretend that there is all sorts of buzz going on in scientific circles about this non-story:

There are several Western scholars who argue that the pyramid on the seabed may have been initially made on the mainland, after which a devastating earthquake struck and changed the landscape completely. Other scientists argue that a few hundred years ago the waters of the Bermuda Triangle area may have as one of the cornerstone activities of the people of Atlantis, and Pyramids on the sea floor may be a supply warehouse for them. Perhaps it is related to the underwater race of humanoids discovered in Washington State in 2004 - the so called "aquatic ape" beings?

Oh, yeah, all the scientists I know spend their time researching Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, and "aquatic ape beings."

And a complete lack of evidence never seems to bother these people.  They're content to blather on as if what they were talking about actually made sense:

There is also a suspicion that the Bermuda triangle and the area where this pyramid was supposedly located may be some sort of "holy grounds" that is being protected by the fabled Atlanteans - that whatever crosses over the location is considered an offering... Others hypothesize that the pyramid can attract and collect cosmic rays, from the so called "energy field" or "quantum vacuum"  and that this may have been used as an Atlantean power plant (or whoever was around at the time). With the mystery still surrounding the Egyptian pyramids and the fact that the pyramidal structures seems to be found in almost all ancient cultures - its going to be hard to tell for certain the origin of this structure or if it truly exists (we haven't been down there yet so...).

Reading this made me shout at my computer, "Do you even understand what a cosmic ray is, you nimrod?"  My computer didn't answer, which I'm taking as a "no."  They have no more understanding of cosmic rays than did the writers of the amazingly abysmal 1960s science fiction show Lost In Space, who appended the word "cosmic" to things to make them seem, well, cosmic.  Like when the wind would blow, knocking over styrofoam rocks and spray-painted cardboard models of scientific apparatus, and Will and Dr. Smith and The Robot would run around waving their arms wildly and yelling, "It's a cosmic storm!  We have to take cover!"  But it never worked, because in the midst of the cosmic storm there would be a cosmic noise ("bwooooyoyoyoyoyoy") and an alien would always appear out of nowhere.  These aliens included a pirate with an electronic parrot, a motorcycle gang, some space hillbillies, a group of alien teenage hippies, and in one extremely memorable episode, Brunhilde (complete with a horned helmet and a cosmic horse).

But I digress.

The pièce de resistance of the glass pyramids article, of course, has to be the illustrations, such as the following:

  Nowhere does it say that these illustrations are "artist's renditions," so a less-than-careful reader might be led to the conclusion that this was an actual underwater photograph of a crystal pyramid.  Of course, a later illustration might give a critical clue to unwary readers that they weren't looking at photographs:

I rather like this one, although the inevitable question of "where is the water going?" does come to mind.  But given that another woo-woo claim is that the Earth is hollow, I'd guess they'd have a ready answer for that one, too.

So, that's our dip in the deep end of the pool for today.  And just to reiterate: there is no credible evidence whatsoever that there are pyramids of any kind, much less glass ones, on the floor of the Atlantic.  Pyramids don't concentrate Cosmic Quantum Vacuum Vibration Frequencies, either, despite what you might have read from such luminaries of the scientific world as Richard C. Hoagland, who also (as you may remember) thinks there are crop circles on Saturn.  I'd like to think that this will put an end to the discussion, and also to people forwarding this around the Internet, although that might be a forlorn hope given that the source article I looked at had been linked, forwarded, and Facebook-liked a total of close to 10,000 times as of the point I found it.  So my feeble efforts are probably going to be as ineffectual as if the cruise ship captain in the above Scientific Photograph shouted "Reverse Engines!"