One of my favorite poems is Andrew Marvell's "To His Coy Mistress." The poem is a plea from a man to his lover to stop playing so hard to get. It has some stunningly beautiful imagery, and a good message -- carpe diem, and don't miss chances, and all that sort of thing. (Although a more prosaic English major friend summed it up as "Life's short, let's fuck," and said, "Of course you like it. You're male.")
Near the end of the poem are the famous lines, "The grave's a fine and private place/ But none, I think, do there embrace." However, we have a recent report from a woman in Ohio who might beg to differ.
Dianne Carlisle, of Euclid, claims that her four-year-old daughter Kimora was playing with her cellphone camera, and snapped a photograph of what appear to be two ghosts having sex. (You can see a video clip that includes the image here; and for those of you who are concerned about such things, the clip is PG-13 or better, and was actually deemed appropriate to show on the local news.)
The spectral bow-chicka-bow-wow has aroused the interest of several local paranormal researchers. David Jones, an Ohio-based ghost hunter, says that if the story checks out, this would be an "extraordinary development in paranormal research," and wonders, amongst other things, "how long it has been going on."
I think that's kind of a personal question, don't you?
Amy Allan, of The Travel Channel's "The Dead Files," says she's "skeptical." "I've never seen two dead people who were conscious entities have intercourse," Allan told reporters. "I have heard of people having sex with ghosts, but not this."
So, let me get this straight; you're doubtful that ghosts could have sex with each other, but willing to accept that a ghost could have sex with a living person? All I can say is that your definition of "skeptical" and mine have a good many differences.
In any case, this is not the only experience that Carlisle and her family have had with her horny spectral roommates. Her daughter saw "a girl standing in the living room, staring," on one occasion, and a photograph in a mirror shows another person besides the one holding the camera, despite the fact that there was supposedly only one person in the room at the time. And Carlisle plays for the news report (if you watch the clip, you'll hear this as well) a voicemail that is allegedly from her deceased sister. To me, the supposed message from the dead woman sounds like a bunch of static, but maybe more discerning ears than mine can make it out (Carlisle says the message is "I love you.").
In any case, Carlisle ends with a plea to to ghosts to keep the haunting G-rated, in consideration of the kids. I dunno, think about it from the ghosts' point of view. They're sharing living space, and sometimes they're gonna do what adults do, right? I mean, here's this kid in the bedroom blundering around with a camera, snapping random photographs. It's as much her fault as the ghosts, if you ask me.
So, anyway, that's today's story. If it's true, it should be a cheering notion, that in the afterlife we won't be limited to rattling chains and going "Woooooo." Much as I love Andrew Marvell's poem, I have to admit that the whole "... your quaint honor turn to dust/ And into ashes all my lust" thing is a little on the depressing side.