A "Brony," for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is an adult, usually male, fan of the television show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. At first my friend didn't believe that there was such a thing, and she accused me of trying to convince her of something ridiculous so that I would have ammunition for teasing her later when she found out that it wasn't true.
This forced me to dig up an article in Wired from 2011 that proved to her that, unlikely as it may seem, the Brony phenomenon is real.
The Bronies are pretty serious about their obsession, too. They have conventions, and dress up as characters like Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, complete with wigs and costumes that are colors not found in nature.
BronyCon. [image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]
After discussing this with my friend, I got to thinking about the phenomenon, and I decided that I had to see what all the buzz was about. And fortunately, the article linked above has a short clip from one of the shows. "Who knows?" I thought. "I'm an open-minded guy, and confident in my own masculinity. Maybe I'll be charmed. Maybe I'll understand how some dude could get taken in by the innocent delight of entering a pastel-colored world where stories always end well."
So I watched the clip. And "delight" is not what I experienced. All I can say is, the voices of the My Little Pony characters reach a level of Annoying Whine previously achieved only by the actors who voiced the little dinosaurs in The Land Before Time. After watching ten seconds of the clip, I wanted to remove my ears, with a cheese grater if need be. I not only cannot understand how anyone could become a Brony, I felt like I needed to chug a six-pack of Bud Light after watching the clip just to restore order to the universe.
But all of this is backstory. Because just yesterday I found out, through a different YouTube clip that you all must watch, that there is a reason that otherwise normal guys become Bronies. And after watching the clip, I realized what a narrow escape I had.
Because My Little Pony is rife with symbolism of Satan and the Illuminati.
From Princess Celestia, who watches the world with the Eye of Horus and is actually a pagan sun goddess; to Applejack, whose apple symbol represents the Apple of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; to Twilight Sparkle's six-pointed star. All symbols of evil magic and the occult.
And don't even get me started about "Pinkie Pie."
All through the video, which is eight minutes long, there is eerie, atmospheric music playing, sort of like the soundtrack to The Exorcist only less cheerful. I watched the whole thing through twice, because it's just that wonderful. There are all sorts of references to the Masons and the Satanists and the Illuminati and the Pagans. An especially great part is where the subtitles tell us that there are six Pony characters, and each one has her own "magic element" and her own color, and 6+6+6 = 666.
I always thought that 6+6+6 = 18. Maybe it's special Illuminati math or something.
Be that as it may, I guess that this explains the whole "Brony" phenomenon. Adult guys are getting sucked in by the evil magic of My Little Pony, and through the wicked influence of characters like "Rainbow Dash" they are being induced to dedicate their lives to worshiping Satan.
Anyway, there you have it. Why guys become Bronies. Me, I'm still not likely to watch, even now that I know that the show has a darker side. Those voices are just beyond anything I could tolerate. Not that this will convince my friend, who still thinks I'm covering up a secret obsession, to the point that she got me a "Pinkie Pie" mug for my last birthday.
But it could be worse. She could have gotten me a plush toy with a voice box. And then I might have made a deal with Satan just to get even with her.