Things didn't turn out so well. Baluchi got fatigued and disoriented, and finally was spotted simply bobbing in the waves seventy miles offshore from St. Augustine. (You gotta give him credit, though; that's 69 more miles than I'd have gotten.) He basically asked the Coast Guard vessel that came upon him, "Which way to Bermuda?", and after a back-and-forth in which he initially refused to leave his craft, they persuaded him to abandon ship.
[image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]
But no, it can't be that simple. Especially since the terminus of his voyage was supposed to be... *cue scary music*
If you're thinking, "Oh, no, don't tell me that they think this has something to do with the Bermuda Triangle," you're way ahead of me, and you also have an excellent sense of the way woo-woo minds work. (Whether this is a good thing or not, I'll leave it to you to decide.) Of course they think it's the Bermuda Triangle, despite the fact that the whole thing has been debunked over and over (for a good summary of the argument against, check out what The Skeptic's Dictionary has to say about it).
So poor Reza Baluchi launched off all unawares into the midst of a scary triangular vortex of negative vibrational quantum energies. Or whatever they think explains this non-existent Danger Spot. Listen to what Mysterious Universe had to say about Baluchi's failure:
What could possibly go wrong? When dealing with the Bermuda Triangle, just about anything... We all know that the Bermuda Triangle eats ships and planes like they’re candy. So when it sees something in the shape of a giant ball with something soft inside, it’s probably thinking “Cadbury Egg!” That could explain why a man trying to run around the entire Bermuda Triangle inside a homemade floating human hamster ball failed only three days into his trek.Right! Because we need some kind of paranormal force to explain why a guy failed on a thousand-mile solo voyage over the ocean in a hamster ball!
You know, sometimes it strikes me that lately the woo-woos aren't even trying very hard. If something happens in New Mexico, they kind of wave their hands in a listless fashion, and say, "Meh. It's aliens." Someone sees an ugly dog in Texas? "Must be El Chupacabra." Here, just the fact that the guy was in the western Atlantic made it inevitable that someone was going to bring up the Bermuda Triangle. If he'd succeeded, the article would have been about how lucky he was to have escaped its evil snares.
So I'm gonna issue a challenge, here. Come on, woo-meisters, give it all you've got. I'm sure you can come up with something more interesting than the same tired old schtick. At least in the fine old days of the Weekly World News, we could look forward to hearing periodically about how BatBoy's presidential campaign was coming along.
But now? Same old, same old. So I'm challenging you woo-woos to really knock our socks off. Give us something we haven't heard before. I know you've got it in you, you've just gotten complacent, and maybe we skeptics have, too. We're like two old cats who just hiss a little and swat, more for show than anything else.
So go ahead, give me your best shot. I can take it. Let's see if we can spice things up around here.
'cuz lord knows, the Bermuda Triangle sinking this dude's hamster ball is not doing it for me.