Am I unwittingly swearing allegiance to the Illuminati every time I eat an Oreo cookie?
[image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]
Let us help you on along your evolving path to enlightenment in order to assist you in connecting with your higher self and who you truly are on the inside. Our global community is composed of reasonable men, and women of truth who seek to understand the world we live in by seeking the without being trapped by the darkness of lies, conspiracies and the masses who love them.Well, that's very nice and all. But there are a lot of words I could use to describe the cookie claim, and "reasonable" is not one of them. Here's a bit of it, so you can get the flavor (crunchy and chocolate-y and nice when dipped in milk, of course!):
Almost 500 billion have been sold. In fact, if you were to stretch out all the OREOs ever sold, you could circle the globe with OREO cookies 341 times. But did any of these billions of people ever notice the hidden Knights Templar symbology etched into a Oreo cookie as they dipped their OREO's in milk; or licked off the white creamy filling from the Cross Pattée emblazoned cookies?I know I didn't. He goes on to tell us that the little marks on the cookie's surface are actually crosses and triangles that come right from the symbolism of the Templars. The problem is, of course, that any geometrically-patterned surface is going to have triangles and crosses and squares and such. That's what being "geometrically-patterned" means. If all of this was Illuminati symbology, then kids in math class would be participating in a cult ritual every time they opened a geometry text.
Then he drops the bombshell on us that even the name "Oreo" is full of secrets:
The etymology of the word OREO gives us two words. Or and Eo. The Hebrew meaning of the word Or is light, and it can also mean dawn, daylight, early morning, lightning, star, sun, sunlight, and sunshine. The word Eo has a similar meaning from the Greek word ēōs, meaning dawn.
In the scriptures, we can then find a reference to fallen angels who are called the watchers, whom I believe are connected etymologically to the word OREO. For example, the Greek word for watchers is ἐγρήγοροι egrḗgoroi, pl. of egrḗgoros, literally "wakeful". This Greek word for "Watchers" originates in Daniel 4 where they are mentioned twice in the singular (v. 13, 23), once in the plural (v. 17), of "watchers, holy ones". Hence, the Templars symbology of the OREO cookie and name are dedicated to the Morning Star, or Dawn Star of the morning. Another Greek name for the Morning Star is Heosphoros (Greek Ἑωσφόρος Heōsphoros), which means "Dawn-Bringer."Well, at least now we're on solid ground for me; I'm a linguistics geek of long standing, and I can say with some authority that you can not simply subdivide a word any way you want, and then cast around until you find some languages with pieces that fit. If that's the way etymology worked, then I could take Mr. Bedard's first name, "Maurice" and say that we can split it into "Mau" + "Rice." From there, it's obvious that it derives from the Egyptian word mau meaning "cat"and the Old English word rice meaning, "strong, powerful, mighty." So it's clear that Mr. Bedard is actually being controlled telepathically by his cat, who is inducing him to write reams of confusing nonsense so as to mislead us puny humans and keep us subjugated, i.e., bringing our Cat Overlords lots of canned tuna.
Actually, if you're curious, the origin of the name Oreo is unknown; the only idea I've seen that holds any water (besides the most likely explanation, which is that it was simply a short and catchy name), is that it comes from taking the "re" from "cream" and sticking it between two "O"s from chocolate, to make a symbolic sandwich.
In any case, I think you can safely enjoy your Oreos. No worries that you're accidentally ingesting Templar symbology and an abridged version of the name "Lucifer." So I'm just going to leave this here, because now I have to go off and investigate the claims of a guy who thinks that John F. Kennedy is still alive, and that he's the Great Beast from the Book of Revelation, and is soon to reveal himself and initiate the End Times. The guy also thinks that Henry Kissinger is the "Second Beast." This makes you wonder who the "Third Beast" is, doesn't it? I'm thinking Ann Coulter.