When God says something to you, you don’t always know the exact time it’s going to happen. [So] stop beating up the prophets because God says, "Woe unto you when you beat up on the prophets."
God is speaking to his people. The only ones who probably aren’t talking to God these days are mean people in America, people who just are anti-Christ.
If you don’t want to hear it, just shut me off. Especially you folks that monitor me every day to try to destroy me. Just go away. You don’t have to be there, you don’t have to hear it. But one day, you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face and you’re going to say, "God, why didn’t you warn me?" And He’s going say, "You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you but you didn’t listen."What I find especially comical about all of this is that I have mocked Jim Bakker for years. Here are a few of the things I've said about Bakker in various posts:
- Is it too much to ask that people leave their bizarre mythology out of politics? I mean, our political situation at the moment is surreal enough. We don't need anything to make it more embarrassing to the world at large... Which is a message that needs delivering to televangelist Jim Bakker. Bakker hosted an interview with Robert Maginnis, of the Family Research Council, a far-right evangelical organization that was classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center in 2010 because of their stance on LGBT issues. In the interview, Bakker opined that President Obama was showing his preference for Muslims by appointing Abid Qureshi to the U.S. District Court in Washington, D.C. (in Bakker's mind, "one out of hundreds of federal appointments" apparently constitutes a "preference"). [Afterwards, Bakker] made an even wackier pronouncement -- that our federal government is being controlled by witches.
- [P]eople like Bakker and Wiles never let a little thing like reality interfere with their message... Lying for Jesus, is how I see it... [And this comes from] a guy who resigned from his first ministerial post because of a sex scandal (in which he offered to pay $279,000 to the victim to keep silent), and in a separate incident was imprisoned for five years on fraud and conspiracy charges.
- Bakker himself said that by "blaspheming against Donald Trump," we're hastening the End Times. Which, honestly, I can't say is a particular deterrent for me at the moment. Considering the news lately, the Dragon With Seven Heads and Ten Crowns, the Scarlet Whore of Babylon, and the Four Apocalyptic Horsepersons sound like a distinct improvement.
- [Apropos of Bakker having a fit over Starbucks changing their holiday coffee cup design] What strikes me about this tempest in a coffee cup is that these are, by and large, the same people who scream bloody murder about "political correctness" whenever someone objects to derogatory language being directed toward minorities, and yet they consider a change in a coffee cup design to be the moral equivalent of carpet-bombing Whoville. So I guess their blathering about political correctness translates to "you can't take offense to anything I say, but I'm still entitled to get my panties in a twist over absolutely nothing."
So I haven't exactly been complimentary. You'd think that if anyone has a target pasted on top of his head, it'd be me.
And yet, here I sit, unsmote.
Go ahead, Jimmy Boy, do your worst. [image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]
Bakker is constantly claiming that various awful events are due to god's wrath, most recently the terrorist bombing in Manchester, England during an Ariana Grande concert, which he said occurred because concert-goers "literally invited the attack by mocking god." Of course, since these claims are always made after the fact -- god never tips him off about a shooting or bombing or what-have-you before it happens, which is kind of odd if he's a "prophet" -- he can attribute them to any supernatural agency he wants, and there's no way to prove him wrong. If he said that Hurricane Maria was caused by the god Lagomorphus, Who Doth Appear Unto Mankind As A Giant Bunny Rabbit, and that he triggered the storm by farting toward the south Atlantic, it's not like there's anything you could respond to effectively contradict him.
Other than science, logic, and common sense, of course. But if you are fond of magical thinking, you've sort of abandoned those three in any case, so it's not like that'd do any good.
In any case, let me hereby make it clear: Jim Bakker, I am officially mocking you. You are a narrow-minded, hypocritical, bigoted, homophobic loon whose pronouncements are such a combination of weirdness and sheer nastiness that it's a wonder anyone still listens. So there you are. I invite you to use your connections to see to it that I get smote. Who knows? Maybe it'll happen. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.