The one recently that made me laugh the hardest was an email invitation to join the Illuminati, which I include below, verbatim:
WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI.My favorite part was that I could achieve my dreams by beaning a member of the Illuminati, because honestly, that seems to have no downside that I can see.
Are you a business man, politician, musical, student
and you want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life.
You can achieve your dreams by beaning [sic] a member of
the illuminati. With this all your dreams and heart
desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great illuminati then you can contact
firstname.lastname@example.org or call+2348104933655
The whole ultra-secret conspiracy worldview, wherein the puppet strings are being pulled by some super-powerful cadre of initiates and adepts, is a popular trope of fiction. It's part of the universe of The X Files; it was a theme in just about every one of David Lynch's movies and television shows; it was a central plot element in Umberto Eco's amazing novel Foucault's Pendulum.
But still, there's that important word "fiction" there that a lot of people don't seem to focus on.
Which is why I'm reasonably certain that pop singer Katy Perry is trolling the gullible in her latest publicity stunt, in which she is saying that she'd like to join the Illuminati herself.
[image courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons]
Well, far be it from an entertainer to lose an opportunity like that. Following Brendan Behan's dictum that there is no such thing as bad publicity, Perry stirred up things further in an interview last week with Rolling Stone.
"If the Illuminati exist, I would like to be invited," Perry said. "I see all that shit and I’m like: 'Come on, let me in! I want to be in the club.'"
Indeed. If I could be part of a magical secret society that had the key to the ultimate power of the universe, I'd want in, too, notwithstanding the fact that there's no particular reason the Illuminati would want a 50-something science nerd with no other obvious qualifications as a member.
That she was trolling Jones et al. became apparent later in the interview, though. "It sounds crazy," Perry admitted. "Weird people on the internet that have nothing to do find, like, strange triangles in your hand motions... I guess you’ve made it when they think you’re in the Illuminati. But I believe in aliens, so if people want to believe in Illuminati, great."
Which is the right attitude, all things considered. But honestly, if there is any truth to this, I doubt that getting in would be as easy as making a specific hand gesture in public, or responding to a spam email. Because, you know, if the Illuminati exist, they're probably a little more thoughtful about their admission policies than that. What I find endlessly funny about Alex Jones and his followers is that they think the world is being run by people who are super-intelligent and secretive and evil, and simultaneously so stupid that their identities and motives could be figured out by a clown like Alex Jones.
But just for the record, if I'm wrong, and there are any Illuminati reading this, I just made a triangular hand motion, so I'm expecting my Welcome Letter to arrive in the mail this week. Does being an Illuminatus give you discounts at restaurants? You know, like AARP? If so, I think it's worth it just for that alone.
Given the impractical plots they carry out, like that whole chemtrails thing, for instance, I'd say a science nerd is exactly what that group needs. They might be hotshots on the political front, but they seem really weak in science.ReplyDelete
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Yeah... being brain-dead would probably have that effect.
I think the first invitation was a little more convincing.ReplyDelete
Joining illuminati is all about the good life,riches,wealth,stardom,fame and controlling the world thereby taking over the world in totality,life is worth enjoying,to get $250000 every 3 days and $1000000 membership blessing for doing what you love then contact email@example.com to be on top todayReplyDelete
a defunct secret society formed by a fervent Academic, Adam Weishaupt in Balvaria, 1776. The cult as its name suggests, was a group of intellectuals who came together to instill discipline in themselves, infiltrate government agencies, and create a new world order. However, the original illuminate was disbanded by the government of Balgaria, when all secret societies were banned, though even before then, strong internal problems were already leading the illuminate cult to termination.That was the 18th century Illuminate. The 21st and 20th centuries also have an illuminate sect which in words you are more likely to understand, is supposed to sign you up , pull you into their chain of command, give you enlightenment, and then, power, as you’ll be playing sinewy roles in the government. This article tries to bring to light,facts about the modern illuminate, and also helps the reader to join, and utilize the opportunities availed by the sect, which are enlightenment, enrichment, and empowerment. The illuminate make people rich, famous and astoundingly powerful. The illuminate, which means enlightenment, purges your mind of all vestiges of ignorance, backwardness and naivety. It brings you out of the delusions and illusions which you’ve been subjected to by numerous religious escapades, and when you are relieved of these non-propitious encumbrances, success becomes inevitable. Knowing that many of us do not understand the illuminate as it is, I’ll go ahead to expound on this wonderful phenomenon and am hoping that by the time you get to the last paragraph of this article, you would be on your way to becoming “illuminated”. It would do the reader good to note that the Illuminate of the 18th century is not the same with the modern illuminate. The former was a cult, while the latter is a consciousness. IF YOU WANT TO BE OUR MEMBER YOU CAN email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org OR CALL US +2348071398555ReplyDelete
The Illuminati is an international group whose primary goal is the control the entire world under a one world government. Members of the Illuminati trace their origins back a reptilian extraterrestrial race that interbred with humanity many thousands of years ago. we believe that our "center of power" is in the lower fourth dimension, the lower astral as many people call it, the traditional home for the 'demons' of folklore and myth. These fourth dimensional reptilian entities work through these hybrid bloodlines because we have a vibrational compatibility with each other.ReplyDelete
The Illuminati contend that most European and American rulers have been members of this alien breed, and thus they have been controlling the world for centuries. All major events in human history over the last couple of centuries are, according to the Illuminati, results of attempts to achieve their one world government in which all are subjugated by the Illuminati elite. In addition to an obsession with interbreeding with each other to preserve the alien genetic structure, join the illuminati cult today for riches and fame for more information contact email:(email@example.com ) or ( +2348141195952 )
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