Call me masochistic, but every so often I like to check in and see what people like Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones are saying.
Those two, and various others I could name, always have seemed to me to be seated right at the triple point between true belief, crass commercial pandering, and outright batshit craziness. Far be it from me to make a determination between the three; I think both of them have some measure of all three. (Okay, with Jones, there's a bigger proportion of craziness, but still.) As evidence, let's see what our two pals have been up to this past week.
Rush Limbaugh went on record as saying that President Obama's latest scheme to overturn life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness was unleashing hordes of lesbian farmers on the midwest. The midwest, Limbaugh claims with some degree of accuracy, is the last bastion of the solidly conservative Republican core in the United States (although you might make the same argument for much of the southeast). So naturally, given a largely right-leaning region, what else should someone like Obama do but search and destroy?
And what better weapon than lesbian farmers? I guess that "learning to use heavy equipment" is now officially part of the "gay agenda."
Don't believe me? Here's the quote:
They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America … So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up … apparently enough money it make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states.So there you have it.
But that's small potatoes compared to the latest from Alex Jones. He interviewed Steven Quayle (the guy who thinks that HAARP is still operational, and is what is currently creating hurricanes in the south Atlantic, because that doesn't happen every year or anything) and Gary Heavin (conservative activist and founder of the Curves fitness center chain) to discuss how the descendants of fallen angels are currently running the world.
I kid you not. Here's the conversation:
Quayle: Donald Trump, in my opinion, is God’s prosecuting attorney. He’s laying out the evidence. It’s like everything evil is swarming upon him. I think the fascinating thing about this is that, you probably heard this, I gave a word that I really thought was an answer to prayer, God said, "Before I allow America to be destroyed by the Russians and the Chinese, now this is hard to take, I’m going to reveal the sins of America’s leaders to the people and the people’s sins before a Holy God."
Jones: Doesn't that always biblically happen, that before a country goes under judgment, they're given warning after warning, then one really big warning?
Quayle: The big warning is coming. I believe the ultimate warning is coming.
Heavin: Let me just... Steve's taught me a lot about this. You know, there's no aliens; there's demons. And Steve has a great explanation, you know, he's taught me about this. Where these demons come from. We know that fallen angels rebelled against god, came down to Earth, and we know they had sex with human women. We know that the offspring were these entities that Steve will talk about...
Jones: That's in the bible.
Heavin: It's all biblical.
Jones: So that's why the elites intermarry, to try to keep that bloodline.
Heavin: Absolutely. The idea is, Satan knew that if he could contaminate the human DNA, he could prevent the coming of Jesus, because Jesus had to be of pure DNA. A lot of the really awful things that happen in the bible, entire cities being wiped out, driving out the bad guys, was to cleanse the DNA so that Jesus, Satan could not prevent Jesus from coming.So there you have it. While the militia composed of lesbian farmers attacks the country's midsection, the elite people with angelic DNA will be having lots of sex to create progeny that will go back in time and prevent Jesus from being born. Unless Donald Trump does something to avoid the evil swarming upon him, and stop all of that from happening.
Don't forget: you heard it here first.
Anyhow. I can totally understand why people still listen to Limbaugh and Jones; it's the undeniable attraction of listening to someone who might without provocation say something that's loony enough to be funny. It'd be nice to get them off the air, though -- the last thing this country needs is to have more people spreading around conspiracy theories. But since listeners = sponsors = money, it's unlikely to happen any time soon. I can only hope that the majority of the people paying attention to what they say are not leaning back and thinking, "My god! That makes total sense!"
Although that would explain a lot about how we get the elected officials we always seem to end up stuck with.
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