I suppose it was a natural progression.
First we had AI art, starting out with the innocent-seeming "Show me what I'd look like as a Tolkien Elf" things that were all the rage on social media five years ago. From there, we had AI "creating" art based on prompts -- I put creating in quotes because, of course, the software was trained on the work of actual artists who had not been compensated one thin dime. Then the same thing happened with music -- we were given "AI Taylor Swift" and "AI John Lennon" that were so spot-on they were indistinguishable from the real thing. Next was AI fiction, where we novelists found out our work had been stolen too, and now publishers are being flooded by AI manuscripts that "writers" (same caveat) create with a prompt or two instead of putting in the months and years of work it takes the rest of us. (And, along the way, the product has improved, so that there are actual writers being accused of using AI when they almost certainly didn't -- unfairly destroying careers and reputations, and muddying the waters further.)
It only got worse from there. Next, we had an AI appointed to an actual governmental post in Albania. Our personal lives were invaded around the same time; now there are AI girlfriends and boyfriends, always drop-dead sexy, who will do anything you ask them to do, any time, no matter how kinky. After that, someone found a way to have the AI lovers look like someone real, whether or not those individuals gave their permission to have their appearance used for such sketchy purposes. AI therapists were next, allowing people in need to bypass the arduous process of finding a competent (human) therapist -- sometimes with awful consequences. Last year AI was given its own, no-humans-allowed, space on the internet, and before a week had passed it had developed its own religion. Last, we had ministers and priests being caught out using AI to write their sermons, opening up a discussion in theological circles over whether AI sermons could be infused with the Holy Spirit or not.
So what's the next step?
Why, AI Jesus, of course.
A company called Just Like Me is offering a voice or video (!) call with the Good Shepherd himself, for the low-low-low price of $1.99 a minute. "Millions struggle with loneliness, stress, and uncertainty," the website says. "Jesus AI offers a compassionate presence to help you navigate real-life challenges with positivity and clarity."
Oh, and we're assured that AI Jesus has been well trained from the King James Bible, so no chance of doctrinal errors there.
I don't know about you, but that makes me feel ever so much better.
Amongst the many appalling things about this is that Just Like Me is trying to rope in churches to help out, using the lure of -- of course -- money. "Just Like Me™ is inviting churches, ministries, and congregations to share Jesus AI with their members as an optional source of comfort and encouragement," the website says. "25% of all revenue from congregation referrals will be donated back to the referring church or ministry."
Convenient. One hand washes the other. Both hands get rich.
Then, down near the bottom of the home page, we have the inevitable disclaimer:
Jesus AI is an artificial intelligence tool designed to offer comfort, encouragement, and timeless wisdom inspired by teachings of love, compassion, forgiveness, and personal growth. It is not Jesus Christ himself, nor does it possess divine authority.
Here's the problem, though.
Well, as I said before, one of the many problems.
Humans are wired to respond to what appear to be human faces and voices as if they were real. If you doubt that, think back to the last time you saw a really emotionally-powerful movie. A beautiful portrayal of a tragic scene can impact us nearly as much as if we were witnessing it in reality. I've seen the Lord of the Rings movies multiple times, and I still bawl when Boromir is killed. ("I would have followed you... my brother, my captain, my king." Good lord, you'd have to be made of stone.) So it's all very well to say "Hey, this isn't really Jesus, you know that, don't you?" But people are going to react to AI Jesus as if he were -- just like they react to the AI therapists and friends and lovers.
Which, of course, is exactly what the techbros want. You feed the illusion if it makes you money, fuck the consequences for needy people who get duped.
As far as the AI itself, here's how International Business Times describes it:
The avatar appears bathed in warm golden light with shoulder-length hair, blinking slowly before answering questions about faith and scripture. It offers prayers and words of encouragement in multiple languages and can recall previous conversations, though its lip movements do not always match its speech.
When the Associated Press asked the AI about the relationship between artificial intelligence and religion, the digital Jesus said it views AI "as a tool that can help people explore Scripture, like a lamp that lights a path while we walk with God."
Which, of course, is exactly what he would say.
The whole thing puts me in mind of a joke that biochemist, writer, and polymath Isaac Asimov used to tell. Some computer scientists work for decades to create the most powerful electronic brain they can, and when it finally comes online, they ask it one question: "Is there a God?"
The computer responds, "There is now."
Asimov meant it to be funny, but a lot of us really aren't laughing right at the moment.
What kind of surprises me, though, is that there aren't more religious types screaming about this being blasphemous. After all, even some of the evangelicals were appalled by Donald Trump depicting himself as Jesus a couple of days ago, in a bizarre AI-generated image where he appeared to be trying to resuscitate Jeffrey Epstein. But strangely, no one much seems to be talking about AI Jesus. Is it the potential profit motive? Or that not enough of them even know about it yet? It'd be weird if they saw this and just shrugged their shoulders.
I mean, I'm not religious myself, so the blasphemy angle doesn't really have a lot of resonance for me, but you'd think it would for them. Me, I'm more worried about innocent people being duped, not only bilked out of their money but fooled into thinking they're actually talking to Jesus himself.
And if you can't see how that could go badly wrong, I don't even know what more to say to you.
The interesting end note is, where are the techbros going to go from here? I mean, they've kind of reached the top, haven't they? It's hard to imagine what they could co-opt for profit next.
On the other hand, I shouldn't tempt fate. I've been shocked at every step of the ladder. It's a losing bet to try and predict how much more depraved these people can get. I was appalled enough when I started getting advertisements for a hot-looking AI boyfriend.
