Tuesday shorts

So it's summer, at least for us folks here in the Northern Hemisphere.  Living as I do in the Frozen North (better known as upstate New York), summer is a time to celebrate the fact that it is finally warm enough most days to go outside without risking freezing off critical body parts.

And in honor of the better weather, we're gonna have some shorts here on Skeptophilia.

[image courtesy of photographer Tinou Bao and the Wikimedia Commons]

No, not those kind of shorts, not that I don't approve thereof.  I'm talking about a brief survey of wacky stories around the world. 

We'll start in China, whence came yesterday's story about setting your crotch on fire to improve your sex life, so it's not surprising that we can find other loony ideas there.  From a story on the BBC News we find out that a zoo in Chengdu has forbidden its resident panda cubs from predicting the winner of the World Cup.

My first thought was: if you believe not only in psychic stuff, but in non-human animals being able to do psychic stuff, how would you go about forbidding it?  Would you stand in front of the pandas' enclosure, and say in a stern voice, "No clairvoyance allowed!  I mean it!"?  Would you watch for signs of mental telepathy from the pandas, and withhold their bowls of bamboo shoots when they do it, so as to discourage panda ESP?

But it turns out that they're actually not forbidding the pandas from speculating amongst themselves, they're simply forbidding them from cluing their handlers in on what they're picking up from the aether.  You might remember the whole Paul-the-Octopus nonsense a few years ago, wherein an octopus in a sea life center in Oberhausen, Germany gained worldwide notoriety when it would select the winner of various World Cup matches by taking food out of containers labeled with the flags of the competing teams' countries, and seemed to do so with great accuracy.  And people took him seriously.  His prediction that Germany would beat Argentina -- which turned out to be correct -- prompted an Argentine chef to post octopus recipes online.

But of course, the whole thing didn't pan out, either literally or figuratively, and his incorrect prediction that Germany would beat Spain in the final game turned out to be wrong, which kind of ended his popularity in his home country.

So the Chinese basically put the quietus on a plan to have the Chengdu panda cubs predict the match outcomes a similar way, that is, by selecting food from containers with flags.  The Chengdu research facility simply said that the "authorities had stepped in and halted the plans," without further explanation.  Meaning that any conversations, telepathic or otherwise, that the pandas have about sports will have to remain amongst their own kind.

Next, we have a story from Canada that gives us the good news that in the afterlife, everyone gets to be happy and contented and blissful.  Somewhat less good, at least in my mind, is that "everyone" includes "psychotic genocidal dictators."

Canadian psychic Carmel Joy Baird has sparked something of a tempest in a teapot by her claim that even Adolf Hitler has mellowed since his bad old Nazi days.  "He's with great-granny on the other side," Baird said in a television interview, in a quote that I swear I'm not making up.

Well, of course this didn't sit well with most fair-minded folks.  "Ms. Baird is entitled to her opinion about what happened to Hitler in the next world," said Len Rudner, director of community affairs and outreach at the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs in Toronto.  "We are much more concerned with what he did in this world, which was to attempt to annihilate the Jewish people.  This is far more important to remember.  The souls that deserve our attention are the souls of the people that were murdered during Hitler's genocide and the souls of those who grieve them."

Which is certainly fair enough, although no one is addressing the point that Baird herself appears to be a fruitcake.  I mean, do people really think this woman is able to find out about the post-mortem status of major world figures?  If so, we should put it to the test.  For example, it'd be nice to know what actually happened to Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa, and D. B. Cooper.  I don't care so much if they're happily chatting with their great-grannies, but it'd be kind of cool to know what became of them during their last days on Earth -- a matter that Baird should easily be able to clear up for us.


Finally, we'll head to England, where some Shropshire sheep farmers are claiming that "aliens in UFOS" are "lasering" their sheep.

Apparently, the sheep have been found dead, with "neat holes" in their bodies, and also missing important organs such as brains and eyes.  The deaths came to the attention of Phil Hoyle, who has investigated other cases of strange livestock mutilation, and who came to the farm near Radnor Forest where the sheep were killed.  The area, says Hoyle, is also a hotspot for UFO sightings -- and the two are connected.

"The technology involved in these attacks is frightening," Hoyle said, in an interview with The Sun.  "These lights and spheres are clearly not ours.  They are built by technology and intelligence that's not from here."

About the UFO sightings, Hoyle said, "For a short while it looked more like a Star Wars battle."  He interviewed farmers after the incident, and said that "all but one had some type of unusual disappearance of animals or deaths with strange injuries."

Which of course raises the question of why superpowerful, ultra-intelligent aliens from another planet would use their awesome technology to zip light years across the galaxy, visit Earth, and then come away with nothing but some sheep brains.  Can't you just picture when the captain of the ship returns to his home world?

Captain of alien ship:  "Look, your exalted excellency!  At the cost of millions of bars of Ferengi latinum, we have traveled to the third planet around the star Sol, and we have come back with... this."

*captain holds up three sheep brains and assorted eyes*

Leader of alien planet:  "That's it.  Guards, feed the captain to the Rancor."

(Okay, I know, I mixed my science fiction universes up.  So shoot me.)


So anyway, there we have it:  some summer shorts for your perusal.  Psychic pandas, Adolf in the afterlife, and Shropshire sheep slayings.  I hope you enjoyed them.  As for me, the weather's nice, so I think it's time for a nap in the hammock.  Wearing shorts, of course.

The horse worshipers

I am endlessly fascinated with animal behavior.  Besides having been a pet owner for more or less my entire life, I have been a fanatical birdwatcher for years.  Beyond this, though, I just think the interactions of the non-human species with which we share the planet are interesting from the standpoint of evolutionary biology and neuroscience -- two areas of biological science that are intrinsically awesome.

It may be because of this that I tend to react with revulsion toward an all-too-common human tendency, which is to treat non-human animals as if they were something other than they are.

This can take many forms, and they are not all equally bad.  Our anthropomorphizing of pets is usually fairly harmless, and I've fallen into that trap, myself; what dog owner out there has looked into those loyal, liquid eyes and not thought, at least for a moment, that Rover is far more intelligent than he really is?  It's understandable, particularly since dogs are highly social animals who have been selectively bred for millennia to be responsive to humans.  It'd be surprising if we didn't by this time have dogs who were capable of eliciting this reaction in us.

It can lead to problems, however, when this natural and rather innocent tendency leads us to treat animals in (*ironic word choice alert*) inhumane ways.  I've seen more than one obese, unhealthy dog whose owner insisted on feeding it, both in quantity and quality, as if it were human.  But there's even worse than that; in our determination to make non-human animals into something other than they are, we ignore the (interesting) reality and create a (dangerous) fiction surrounding them.

We, in effect, create a modern-day mythology, analogous to our distant ancestors' imbuing of animals with magical powers.

It's not just domestic animals that we do this to.  The people in Tuesday's post who thought they were magically in touch with whales are examples of this phenomenon.  (One reader posted a comment wondering why woo-woos think that only the charismatic megafauna have mystical powers -- why they try to connect to the Wolf Spirit and the Whale Consciousness, but no one tries to create a telepathic link to, say, a chicken.  It's a good question, although I must say that it would be entertaining to watch someone try.)

I was sent a particularly egregious example of this whole phenomenon yesterday by a frequent reader and contributor to Skeptophilia.  Entitled "Equinisity Retreats: A Transformational Journey," this website describes a ranch in British Columbia where horses are... more than just horses:

Our Sacred Land is home to a herd of free roaming horses, llamas and our resident Buddha, Tesoro the bull. The 320 acres of enchanted forests, hills, lakes, rivers of underground crystals and magnificent views, is an energetic matrix for personal transformation through higher consciousness, universal love and connection to all life...  Equinisity Retreats are transformational journeys hosted by Liz Mitten Ryan, Author, Artist and Animal Communicator and her herd of equine higher beings.

Now, I will be up front with you; although I've been around animals my whole life, I am not a horse person.  I have ridden a horse exactly once, a patient, gentle old guy named Tonto on whom I sat for an hour's beach ride in Montauk fourteen years ago.  That's it: my one and only contact with horses.  I have, however, a friend who is a passionate equestrian, with whom I have had many conversations on the topic.  She understands that horses are, first and foremost, herd animals, who have evolved for millions of years to interact with each other and with members of other species in the ways evolution molded them.  In their original habitat, they are highly social animals, but are also prey; any interaction with them has to be predicated on that understanding.  And like any social animal, they have unique gestures, signals, and modes of non-verbal communication that you must understand in order to interact with a horse without its either running away from you or kicking you into the middle of next week.

But her understanding of horses is based on science, not on wishful thinking about their being "spiritual masters."  She studies, appreciates, and loves horses; she doesn't worship them.  On the other hand, listen to the way Liz Mitten Ryan talks about the interactions with her "equine higher beings":

These spiritual retreats offer re-connection, re-vitalisation and healing, dispelling illusion, shifting consciousness and tuning and raising personal and universal vibration...  Untainted by human mass mind consciousness, this perspective provides a life-changing understanding of the enlightened journey. You are invited to rest, reconnect, and heal with the Land and the Herd. Tune and raise your vibration through the powerful crystals of Gateway and healing sessions with the Herd; learn to see vortices, feel and see auras, and connect and communicate with all life.  Learn animal and communication with all life through journaling, dowsing, opening to channel and trusting and refining your innate abilities.

Now, I'm not claiming that what she's doing is in any way detrimental to the animals.  From what I could tell from the website, the horses are probably well cared for.  But her selling point -- that somehow, she is allowing you to learn animal communication through some kind of mystical contact with equine "higher beings" -- is absurd.  Be that as it may, if you wanted to, you can even go there to get certified to lead "horse healing sessions" yourself:

Horses are coming forward as teachers and healers in programs everywhere. Here at Gateway 2 Ranch we have pioneered the Equinisity Programs and have interest from people all over the world who would like to incorporate these at liberty horse healing programs that are producing miraculous results. 

The most miraculous result for the owners of Equinisity is that there are people who are willing to shell out $6,800 to take the training.

On some level, I get why people do this sort of thing.  Horses are beautiful, majestic animals.  But they are animals, not "spiritual beings," and are far less intelligent than humans.  Worshiping them as if they are "higher beings" that are "enlightened" and can allow you to see vortices and auras is, simply, false, and taking people's money on this pretext is unethical at best.

Once again, the reality is far more interesting (not to mention far cheaper).  Most places in the United States, Canada, and Western Europe are within a reasonable drive of a place where you can learn to ride and to interact with horses, if that's what you want to do.  And learning about how the behavior of horses (and every other animal in the world) has been driven by evolutionary pressures will help you to see why horses do what they do, in their interactions both with humans and with their herdmates.  In the long haul, you will learn more than you would by going to British Columbia to have a "spiritually transformative experience" involving a made-up view of animal nature.

As usual: learn some science.  Learn some facts.  Allow yourself to be awestruck at how cool the biological world actually is, even if it forces you to abandon your mythology.

Psychic cat energy clearing services

A frequent reader of Skeptophilia complained to me a couple of days ago that he might need to stop reading my blog, because every time he did, his blood pressure spiked out of sheer indignation at the level of idiocy that some humans are capable of.  "You either need to stop making so much sense," he wrote to me, "or you have to start blogging about kittens."

Be careful what you wish for.

Figure 1:  A kitten.

Prompted by his comment, and with a little bit of research, I discovered the page, "Psychic Cats Are Probably More Common Than Other Psychic Animals," which launches us off onto our topic for today.

The author of the page starts us out with a good question, to wit: How can we know that cats are psychic?  The answer comes in two parts: (1) because we own cats, and they sure seem psychic to us; and (2) the ancient Egyptians liked cats a lot.  Also, we have the inarguable fact that cats are nocturnal:

Then there's the long association of cats with witches as their 'familiars'. Actually, witches had a whole range of 'familiars', but it is only the cats which are remembered.  Cats go out at night and roam around in the moonlight.  In other words, cats are 'different'. They have something which sets them apart.

Actually, I see way more possums out at night than I do cats, and I don't think that anyone is arguing that possums are psychic.  But there were no Ancient Egyptian Possum Gods, so maybe that's the difference.

In any case, these folks are really invested in cats being psychic because they have a business in "geomancy," which is figuring out through ESP if a location has negative or positive Quantum Energy Frequency Vibrations, and then "clearing" it of any bad ones so that the negative energies won't infest your aura.  Or something like that.  It's hard to tell, frankly, because most of their explanations sound like this:

Sometimes saying that we do earth energy healing is a shorthand way of saying that we work with a variety of different energies.  If you have read some of the other pages on this site, you will realize that there are a variety of different energies to be found in any environment. Therefore, to say that geomancy or space clearing is only involved in earth energy healing is somewhat misleading.  Obviously (I hope!), you will recognize the need to keep your environment clear of those energies which can affect you negatively.

Oh!  Sure!  That makes it completely clear!  I mean, my only question would be, "What?"

At this point, you may be wondering what the cats have to do with it.  I know I was.  The whole cat angle comes from the fact that you can apparently use your cat to figure out which parts of your house have bad energies:

Energetically speaking, cats tend to be drawn to places noxious to humans. Therefore, they can be useful indicators of such areas, simply by observing them.  However, they also appear, from what we have been discovering with our own cats, that they also act as transformers of negative energy in some fashion.  As we became more and more involved in house clearing, and tackled more and more difficult places, so we found that our cats are of greater help.  For instance, they sit with us, or on the plan of the place we are working on and wander away when we are finished.

I can say with some degree of assurance that from observing my own cats, Puck and Geronimo, "sitting around looking bored" and then "wandering away to be bored elsewhere" are both activities at which they excel.  It also bears mention, however, that my cats are not exactly your textbook Fluffy Kitty:

Figure 2: What neither of my cats looks even remotely like.

Puck's physical appearance makes her look like she's got a screw loose, an impression which is helped out by the fact that she's got one broken fang and frequently walks around with her tongue sticking part way out.  She's really quite a sweet-natured cat, but even people who like cats think she looks slightly demented.  Geronimo, on the other hand, is generally pissed off at the entire world.  Sometimes he just sits there and stares at me, his yellow eyes narrowed to slits.  It's unnerving.  He would have made a good witch's familiar, if he had been able to find a witch who was in his league, evil-wise, which would have been a challenge.

Oh, and did I mention that both of these cats are black?  I'm sure that's relevant, somehow.

The "Psychic Cats" page ends with a question, which certainly seems like a good one:

If cats are attracted to your house, to you and you have many of them, you need to look at why that is. Is it because they are protecting you?

To which I can only answer: if you think that your cats are protecting you, you might want to ask yourself who you would rather have by your side if an armed burglar broke into your house -- Brutus the Rottweiler, or Mr. Fluffums the Persian Cat?

So anyhow, I'm pretty sure that my cats aren't psychic.  For one thing, if they actually were psychic, I doubt they'd let our neurotic border collie, Doolin, push them around.  Plus, I'm guessing that they'd use mind-control to get something better than dry cat food for dinner.  And as far as being "drawn to places that are noxious to humans," Geronimo's favorite spot is on top of our hot tub.  So unless somehow the hot tub has become a Reservoir Of Negative Energy, I'm thinking that he's only sitting there because it's warm.  The upshot of it all is that in my experience, cats are kind of useless.  They're sort of like home decor items that run up vet bills and poop in a box in the corner of the laundry room.

So, that's our in-depth analysis of feline psychics.   And to the reader who wanted a kitten post, I hope you're satisfied at what you've done.  I suspect I've just unleashed a torrent of hate mail from (1) people who love cats and resent my criticizing them, (2) people who believe in psychic abilities and resent my poking fun at them, and (3) people who own psychic cats and simply hate my guts.  But it's a risk I'm willing to take.  As a blogger, you have to be responsive to your readers.  Even given the criticism I sometimes get, they're still an easier audience than Geronimo, who looks like he would happily claw my eyes out even though I feed him every day.