Eyes, images, and miracles

In what may be the most absurd example of pareidolia I've ever seen, a Cornell-educated Ph.D. in engineering has discovered images of human faces, and encoded holographic messages, in the cloth image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

The image, the story goes, was imprinted on a young man's poncho in 1531 when he had a vision of the Virgin Mary near Mexico City.  The cloth has since been venerated as a holy icon, and has been photographed and studied extensively by the religious.  Starting in 1979, an engineer who specialized in digital imaging, José Aste Tonsmann, began to examine the icon, and it has become a virtual obsession with him.

Aste Tonsmann located 31 human figures in the image, many of them in the Virgin Mary's eyes.  These images were seen "(A)fter filtering and processing the digitized images of the eyes to eliminate 'noise' and enhance them."  Even after all of this messing about, we still end up with images like this:

(Photography by J. Aste Tonsmann, from his website.)

Not exactly life-like images of the human face, are they?  Yes, they suggest faces, but once again, we're up against our old friend pareidolia -- the tendency of people to see faces in clouds, water stains, and patterns on tortillas because our brains are wired for facial recognition.

But Aste Tonsmann, who himself is a devout Catholic and a member of the Marian Congress, thinks this is all part of the miracle.  He believes that the Virgin Mary herself has sent us an "image of a family in the center of the Virgin's eye, in times when families are under serious attack in our modern world."  More interestingly, he believes that the images are effectively holograms -- three-dimensional images captured at the time the image was created, and imprinted on the cloth in a "miraculous fashion:"

The eyes reflect the witnesses of the Guadalupan miracle, the moment Juan Diego unfurled his cloak before the bishop to show him the painting; a kind of instant picture of what occurred at the moment the image was unveiled. It is possible to see a seated Indian who is looking up to the heavens; the profile of a balding, elderly man with a white beard who looks like the Bishop; a younger man who is possibly interpreter Juan González; another Indian who is Juan Diego; a woman of dark complexion who is possibly a slave who was in the bishop's service and a man with Spanish features who looks on pensively, stroking his beard with his hand.

The idea, I suppose, is that we're seeing the image that was on the Virgin Mary's retina the moment the miracle occurred.

Well, that is a lovely story, and it goes along with all sorts of other trappings -- the usual miracle stories associated with icons and holy relics, and various "amazing facts."  My favorite of the latter is that the stars on her cloak resemble the constellations that were in the sky in December of 1531, only reversed -- "as if the constellations were being observed from a vantage point a great distance from the Earth."  Presumably, the implication is that this is what the constellations look like to the Virgin Mary from her home in heaven.  The unattributed writer of that statement evidently is under the misapprehension that the stars in a constellation exist in a flat plane, and so if you were far away ("on the other side of the constellation"), you'd see them backwards, as if you were looking at an image painted on a flat sheet of glass first from one side, and then the other.  Unfortunately, the stars in the sky are not equidistant from the sun, but sit in a three-dimensional space -- so there is no place in space where you'd see the same constellations as you do on the Earth, only inverted.  You'd think the Virgin Mary would know that, somehow.

The whole thing recently has been picked up by the Secret Coded Messages cadre, and now they're using Aste Tonsmann's techniques (which can be summed up as "taking magnified photographs of something and tinkering with the images until you find something you already had decided was there") to try to find encoded textual material in the image.  One site I looked at claims to have found strings of characters, and now "linguistic experts" are trying to translate them -- and that once they do, we'll have our first look at the "lexicon of God."

And if that proposal didn't make you do a facepalm, you're made of sterner stuff than I am.

In any case, I mean no disrespect to whoever created the original image; it's quite a pretty thing, really, even if I don't subscribe to the whole miracle story.  (You can see a photograph of the entire Virgin of Guadalupe on the site that I linked above.)  But the goofy pseudo-analysis done by Aste Tonsmann and others just makes me wonder how people can achieve such towering heights of credulity.  I suppose it's the same old story; if you want to believe something badly enough, you'll find a way -- even if it comes to seeing images of people that aren't actually there.

Sophistry, lies, and "worldviews"

I am becoming sick unto death of the word "worldview."

This comes up because of two news stories I read yesterday.  In the first, Michele Bachmann's claim that slave owners before the Civil War were doing the slaves a favor by (1) making them Christian, and (2) providing them food and a place to live, is said not to be a gaffe, but representative of Bachmann's "intellectual worldview."  Her claim that the Founding Fathers "worked tirelessly to end slavery" is a statement, says Doug Mataconis in Outside the Beltway, that is "evidence of a worldview that is very different from what most Americans encounter in their daily lives."

Then, the word came up in an article about the quarreling occurring in some Evangelical Christian academic circles about whether Adam and Eve actually existed.  Four in ten Americans, the article said, "subscribe to the worldview" that Adam and Eve were real, historical figures, who 6,000-odd years ago were created by God, at that time were the only humans on Earth, and who were the ancestors of all 6.8 billion of us alive today.  Apparently some Christian scholars have begun to look at the actual data (which may qualify as a miracle in and of itself) and noting that the paleontological and archaeological evidence does not support a sudden appearance of humans a few thousand years ago, and that furthermore, a descent from one couple in six thousand years is impossible given the range of genetic mutations you see in modern humans.  "You would have to postulate that there's been this absolutely astronomical mutation rate that has produced all these new variants in an incredibly short period of time," said Dennis Venema, of Trinity Western University.  "Those types of mutation rates are just not possible. It would mutate us out of existence."

Others, however, equally staunchly insist that the literal truth of the Adam and Eve story is "central to the Christian worldview."  Fazale Rana, vice president of the evangelical think tank Reason to Believe, states, " If the parts of Scripture that you are claiming to be false, in effect, are responsible for creating the fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, then you've got a problem."

I find it strange how the word "worldview" has become a way of saying, "a view of the world that runs counter to science, fact, logic, and common sense."  Statements, then, no longer can be said to be simply wrong; they are "part of a person's worldview."  If someone wants to claim that slaves were better off being slaves than being free in Africa, that is "part of her worldview."  If someone wants to claim that the findings of the last 150 years of work by trained scientists is wrong, and a Bronze Age fairy tale for which there is not the first shred of evidence is right, that is "part of his worldview."

I'm sorry.  That's intellectual sophistry.  Or, since the topic of this post is speaking clearly and bluntly: it's foolish, and dangerously wrong.

We have become far too willing to be tolerant of anti-scientific, anti-intellectual statements.  In our bland, multicultural desire to be accepting of all viewpoints, we have lost the edge that scholars had a century ago, when all college students were required to take courses in logic and were far better at identifying specious thinking -- and far less hesitant to point it out.  Statements like Rana's and Bachmann's aren't "worldviews;" they're simply wrong.  The Founding Fathers did not "work tirelessly to end slavery."  Many of them were themselves slave owners.  And the descent of all humans from one couple 6,000 years ago would come as something of a surprise to the Native Americans, whose ancestors migrated to North America 6,000 years prior to that.

I find it appalling that so few are willing to say, flat out, that the statements made by public figures are illogical, unsupported, or simply factually incorrect.  Why are we trying to come up with a word that has the effect of dulling people's sensibilities to the fact that they're being misled and lied to?  Bachmann and her ilk, the biblical literalists, and others who have their own, special counterfactual understanding of the universe, might be able to afford to have "worldviews."

The rest of us come to our knowledge simply from observing the "world."

Dulce Base and WeaselMan

I keep thinking that at some point, I'm going to run out of material.  I keep thinking that eventually, I'll have heard about, and written about, every loony conspiracy theory, bizarre cryptid report, alleged UFO sighting, and anecdotal story of a haunted house out there, and then I'll just have to give it up and find something else to talk about.

I keep being wrong.

Today I bumped into a story about a Secret Government Scientific Facility in northern New Mexico, called Dulce Base.  Have you heard of it?  It sounds like a positively charming place.  It has seven underground levels, of increasingly horrific content, rather like Dante's Nine Circles of Hell:

Level 1:  Security & Communications
Level 2:  Housing of Human Staff
Level 3:  Executive Offices and Laboratories
Level 4:  Mind Control Experiments
Level 5:  Housing for Aliens
Level 6:  Laboratories for Genetic Experiments on Humans and Aliens
Level 7:  Cryogenic Storage for Human/Animal/Alien Hybrids

The article, which you can read in its entirety here, gives further descriptions of the lower three levels, to wit:

-5th Level - witnesses have described huge vats with amber liquid with parts of human bodies being stirred inside. Rows and rows of cages holding men, women and children to be used as food. Perhaps thousands.

-6th Level - privately called "Nightmare Hall." It contains the genetic labs. Here are where the crossbreeding experiments of human/animal are done on fish, seals, birds, and mice that are vastly altered from their original forms. There are multi-armed and multi-legged humans and several cages and vats of humanoid bat-like creatures up to 7 feet tall.

-7th Level - Row after row of 1,000s of humans in cold storage including children.

They then insinuate, in all apparent seriousness, that "Mothman" was an escapee from level six.  How he got all the way to West Virginia is still in question.  Perhaps it's through the series of underground tunnels that allegedly connect Dulce Base to other secret bases around the US, including (of course) Area 51.

The whole story apparently originated back in the late 1980s with a guy named Paul Bennewitz, a physicist who "wrote a computer program that could translate alien radio transmissions" and connected with a woman named Myrna Hansen who, under hypnosis, described being held at Dulce Base and implanted with alien mind control devices.  No hard evidence was produced, of course -- just all these anecdotal reports and insinuations.  I find this odd.  You would think that if someone claimed to have an alien implant, it would be simple -- remove, or at least x-ray, the device supposedly in the person's skull, and there you'd have it: hard evidence of alien technology.  The fact that no one did that is suspect in and of itself.  Apparently Bennewitz eventually went completely off the deep end, began to talk about how aliens were coming through his walls to inject him with chemicals, and he was hauled off to the mental hospital.  Or... maybe he knew too much and was silenced.  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Be that as it may, the Dulce story has grown by accretion, and now there is an elaborate description of its underground facilities, maps of how it is connected to other facilities, and detailed information about the grotesque genetic experiments that go on there.  Pretty super top-secret-highly-classified, isn't it?  And there are, of course, all sorts of stories about people who talked about it getting in trouble -- just like Bennewitz.  The funniest one is that shortly after the series UFO Hunters did a show on Dulce Base, it got cancelled, which makes all the woo-woos wiggle their eyebrows in a significant fashion.  It apparently never occurs to them that a simpler explanation is that UFO Hunters got cancelled because it was a stupid show.

Interestingly, unlike Area 51, where there actually is a military facility of some sort, Dulce Base is believed by most skeptics simply not to exist at all.  The most rational claims are that it was a complete fabrication on the part of Bennewitz and others; but like most conspiracy theories, denial simply made it stronger, and made its adherents more convinced that they'd stumbled on the truth.

In what may or may not be a coincidence (mwa-ha-ha again) I'm heading off to New Mexico in a couple of weeks.  The plan is to visit my favorite cousins and my wife's uncle and aunt.  Of course, that's the story I would tell, right?  No way would I divulge the real reason for my going there, so soon after posting this.  There has to be more to it.  Maybe I'm in league with... them.  After all, I'm a biologist!  Aha!  I'm in on the human/animal hybridization experiments!

Ahem.  "No official comment." 

Off the record, though, all I can say is: if you're ever in northern New Mexico, and you see what appears to be a six-foot-tall weasel with blond hair and a wicked smirk... I had nothing to do with it.

Magical mystery tours

Well, I was going to do a post about how quantum mechanics and the double-slit interferometry experiment proves the survival of the human soul after death, but I could not have continued reading the source material without having at least two shots of tequila.  Given that it's only 6:30 AM, I thought this was a bad strategy for starting off the day, so I've elected instead to write about Tours for Woo-woos.

Apparently travel to Mystical Places is becoming all the rage with people who (1) like going to cool places, (2) have a lot of money, and (3) are extremely gullible.  One company that arranges such tours, Mystical Travel, has a great many to choose from.  Let me give you a sampler of what you might expect:

1)  Markawasi: Through the StarGate -- this trip, at $2,350 per person, sends you to Markawasi, an Inca site up at 13,000 feet elevation in the Andes.  The website states, "During our time there we walk the plateau, examining the many stone shapes left for whoever survived the massive Earth changes that cleansed the world tens of thousands of years ago during a pole shift and flood. This is a monument, a museum, of what had been. Incredible as it is, this place is older then the pyramids of Egypt. Additionally, we believe there exists another stargate somewhere on the Plateau. We intend to enlist your help to find it."  My general thought is:  good luck with that.

2)  Shapeshifting a New World in the Land of the Maya -- for this one, there was no price listed.  I was requested to put in my email address if I wanted more information, and frankly, I'd rather not have these people contacting me.  Here, we go right to the source -- Central America -- in December of 2012, to prepare ourselves for the end of the Long Count on December 21.  The blurb about this tour kept using the word "shapeshifting" and I kept looking for a sign that they meant it metaphorically, but apparently, these people really believe that you can learn how to transform yourself into, for example, a weasel.  Amongst the featured activities are that you will get to "Work with shamans and deities at the shore of one of the world's Seven Sacred Lakes, Lake Atitlan, and spend five magical days investigating the jungle and archeological ruins of Tikal, focusing Shapeshifting practices at sites dating back to 800 B.C. - to open inner forces of healing and wakefulness" and that you will "feel the winds of the great vortex that emit from the cauldron of an extinct volcano that is now a bottomless lake and located those areas noted as the secret inter-dimensional passageways by shamanic elders."  I can hardly wait.  And afterwards, we can move on to:

3)  2013: Day 1, the Great Rethinking in Glastonbury -- when you've survived December 21, 2012, you can head over to England in 2013 to be part of a think tank that will help to rebuild the world.  This one is a conference (once again, I couldn't find a price) in Glastonbury, the place that supposedly has the "most powerful intersection of ley lines in the world."  The idea here, so far as I could ascertain, is that following the cataclysm of December 2012, during which there might be "some sudden quantum shift in human consciousness or an alien landing on the White House lawn" (that quote is directly from the site), there will have to be some pretty fancy footwork to pick up whatever pieces are left.  This conference will bring together people with "shamanic consciousness" to start the world on its new journey after all the Mayan End-of-the-World stuff happens.

And so on.  There are tours to Egypt (UFO related, of course); Sedona, Arizona (Native American shamanism), Greece (Atlantis, ancient gods, and the Oracle of Delphi), and Mount Shasta (to celebrate a solar eclipse that is going to "align with the Pleiades," an event that evidently is supposed to mean something).  All of which leaves me feeling like maybe I could use that tequila, after all.

Now, understand that I have nothing whatsoever against traveling, and if meeting shamans and seeking out stargates floats your boat, well, have at it.  My objection is the same one I have to most of these sorts of things; these tour agencies lead the gullible to believe that all of this stuff is true, that if you participate you actually will discover a secret inter-dimensional passageway, or whatever.  And human suggestibility being what it is, there is every reason to expect that if you think you're going to have a mystical experience while you're there, you probably will come away feeling like you did.

There's the old adage that "a fool and his money are soon parted," but I just can't help but think that there's something unfair about playing on people's credulity to make money.  But in the long haul, if they come back from their Mystical Tour (1) with some good memories of having traveled to cool places, and (2) with a feeling like they've tapped into some mystical center of the universe, didn't they get their money's worth?

I suppose that in some sense, they did.  Still, I find myself thinking of that wonderful quote from Carl Sagan, from The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark: "It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

Light waves, the ether, and stoned wallabies

In yesterday's post, I scoffed at the tendency of some people to jump to a supernatural answers when there is a perfectly reasonable natural answer at hand.  In particular, I made reference to the foolishness surrounding crop circles, which are variously attributed to alien intelligences, evil spirits, and "plasma vortexes."

Note that my disdain for supernatural solutions doesn't mean that all natural solutions are created equal, nor that a given natural solution is necessarily correct.  Witness, for example, the article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times in June 2009, brought to my attention yesterday by a former student of mine, which attributes crop circles to Tasmanian wallabies on dope.  (To prove that I am not making this up, read the entire article here.)

If you'd prefer the condensed version, the article tells the story of the Tasmanian poppy farms that supply half of the legally-produced opium in the world (used in making morphine, codeine, and other medically useful opiate drugs).  Given its capacity for being stolen, and either used illegally or sold, security around poppy farms is pretty high, which is why it came as some surprise when crop circles started showing up in poppy fields.

The reason for bringing all this up is that one person has proposed a solution to the Tasmanian crop circle problem, and it has nothing to do with aliens.  Lara Giddings, attorney general for the state of Tasmania, blames the phenomenon on stoned wallabies.

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Giddings said, in a parliamentary hearing.  "Then they crash.  We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

My first reaction was, "You're kidding, right?"  But Giddings was apparently completely serious.  She thinks that crop circles in poppy fields are really being caused by wallabies eating poppy plants and then jumping around in circles.

Now, I will state up front that I couldn't find any photographs of the Tasmanian crop circles, and that I don't know what caused them.  But if they're really what we've come to call crop circles -- arrays of sharp-edged geometric shapes -- then I will bet my next month's salary that they weren't caused by a drugged wallaby hopping about.

So to clarify my assertion from yesterday; just because I think that supernatural answers are wrong doesn't mean that I think that every natural answer has to be right.

And it doesn't even have to be that far-fetched, either.  Even the scientists are sometimes off base, because let's face it -- nature can be pretty weird, sometimes.  Consider the interesting case of the ether.

When it was discovered in the 18th and 19th centuries that light had a lot of wave-like properties, a natural question to ask was, "what is waving?"  Waves have to travel in a medium -- a wave is a regular disturbance in some substance or another.  (This is why in science fiction movies, when a spaceship blows up, and you hear "BOOM," someone didn't pay attention in physics class -- because space, being generally devoid of matter, would have no medium through which sound waves could propagate.  Explosions in space would be completely silent.)

So scientists naturally wondered what medium light was traveling in -- i.e. in a light wave, what is "waving?"  Since light, unlike sound, travels just fine in a vacuum, there must be something there through which the wave is passing.  Pretty logical, right?  Scientists decided that there was a medium that simply couldn't be detected with the equipment they had, and named this medium "ether."

So, for decades, "ether" was a scientific fact -- until the nifty little Michelson-Morley experiment happened, disproving the existence of the ether, and set the stage for Einstein to explain what was actually happening -- and for Schrödinger to finally pronounce that what was waving was a probability field.  (And if that sounds a little too close to Douglas Adams' "Infinite Improbability Drive" to be possible, allow me to say that it strikes me that way, too, and yet it's been experimentally supported every which way from Sunday.)

Nature can be bizarre, weird, counterintuitive.  However, it does act in a regular fashion, which is why the scientific method works.  The bottom line, as always, is:  show me the goods.  If you think you have an explanation for something, provide hard evidence.  That is the strength of science; everyone, and every theory, is held up to the gold standards of evidence and replicability.  If you want me to believe in something -- the ether, light being a probability wave, or stoned wallabies causing crop circles -- you better have something better up your sleeve than "because I'm the attorney general, and I said so."

Crop circles, sciencey words, and easy answers

One of the things that bugs me the most about the supernatural view of the world is that it's taking the easy way out.

Natural, scientific explanations are hard.  That's why people study all their lives to learn how to do good science.  Even to read one of the popular journals about science -- Discover, say, or Scientific American -- means you have to commit yourself to exercising your brain a little, training yourself to think critically, learning a few new vocabulary words.

The woo-woos of the world take the easy way.  They specialize in a lexicon that I call "Sort Of Sciencey Or Something."  The words sounds scientific enough -- energy, field, vibration, frequency, dimension -- but when you press them, it turns out that even they aren't able to give a good definition of what they mean by these terms.  They throw in glancing references to actual science (quantum mechanics is a particular favorite) and it gives them the good, glowing feeling of being Sort Of Sciencey Or Something, which is often enough to sell whatever product they're hawking to the gullible.

Natural explanations aren't always technical and hard to understand, mind you; but they do require you to look beyond the easy answers of attributing things to Psychic Vibrational Energy Fields, and force your brain to think skeptically.  Witness, for example, the crop circle that appeared in Wiltshire (England) last week.

Visitors to the site generally attributed the latest addition to the Crop Circle Artists' Portfolio to the usual things -- mostly aliens.  Janet Ossebaard, a Dutch crop circle woo-woo extraordinaire, stated, "This wasn’t made by people, otherwise you’d see damage from board marks.  It’s been hit by a plasma vortex.  You can see the burn marks on the crops and cavities.  We also found a half-fried caterpillar. This is a vortex that has been intelligently guided — and not by hoaxers."

Well, Ms. Ossebaard, I'm afraid that you might want to reconsider your "plasma vortex" theory.

Professor Richard Taylor, a physicist at the University of Oregon, was able to replicate exactly this sort of damage -- and mimic crop circle patterns -- using a magnetron, a device made from the innards of a microwave oven, and powered by...  a 12-volt battery!

In an article in Physics World, Taylor describes how he used a magnetron to "cook" the bottom of plant stems, causing them to fall over and cool in place -- creating the "bent, not broken" hallmark of crop circles that woo-woos have made such a fuss about.  With a magnetron and a hand-held GPS, Taylor says, you could make a crop circle of a size and level of complexity that would only be limited by the number of hours in a night.

So, there you have it, folks: a nice, plausible, natural explanation, with no recourse necessary to "plasma vortexes" or the like.

Note that I'm not saying that every crop circle was made this way.  But that's the great thing about scientific explanations; you find a straightforward, plausible explanation, that accounts for all of the known facts in a given case, with the full knowledge that the next case might require a different explanation.  The woo-woos' determination to make things like this into some huge mystical deal (The Aliens Are Trying To Communicate With Us) leaves them instead having to answer a number of troubling questions, the most important of which is: Why would an alien intelligence using a "plasma vortex" to carve an image into a wheat field choose to depict an alien smoking a pipe?

Flower power

In yesterday's post, I commented on the peculiar practice of yoga for dogs, and made the comment, "What next?  Flower essences for dogs?"

If I was expecting everyone to say, "Ha-ha, what a silly thought, no one could be that gullible," I was sadly mistaken.  Several of my readers sent me links showing that there is already a thriving business in selling people flower essences to treat their dogs.

If you're wondering what a "flower essence" is, then allow me to explain.  A flower essence is made by floating flowers in water, and exposing them to the light of the sun, moon, or stars, so that the water is "potentized" -- the "energy vibrations" of the flowers are "transferred to the structure of the water."  This then creates a "mother tincture" that can be used to treat physical or emotional problems.

If you can stand to take a swan dive into a great big pond of pseudoscience, take a look at this explanation of how flower essences work (here).  If you understandably would prefer not to risk valuable brain cells by reading the whole thing, I present here a few highlights:

"Flower essences (remedies) are specially prepared extracts of the flowering parts of certain plants. They work through energy fields to heal stress and disease from the inside."


"Many other essences have been created around the world, not only from flowers, but also from gems, minerals, animals, butterflies, lakes, sacred earth sites, stars, celestial phenomena, and Ascended Masters. Many of them are very useful in helping our animal companions recover from trauma, injury, and stress. These non-flower essences are often referred to as 'energy' or 'vibrational' essences."

"Essences heal underlying negative emotional states by 'flooding' the patient with the opposite, positive quality. For example, the essence of Holly is love. Use Holly in any situation where there is a lack of love, such as anger, jealousy, or rage. Similarly, the essence of Rock Rose is courage; it is helpful in cases of deep fears, panic, and terror."

"Since essences act energetically, not physically, they are completely safe and non-toxic. They cannot be overused or misused, and they are compatible with all other treatments, including drugs, surgery, and holistic treatments like herbs and homeopathy. Even if you give the wrong remedy, it will not have any negative effects, but simply no effect."

This, of course,  brings up a few questions in my mind:

1)  How do you make an "essence" of a celestial phenomenon?  "Here, have a few drops of Lunar Eclipse?"  Making an "essence" of an animal is even more problematic, and if anyone tried to dose me with Essence of Weasel, I wouldn't be happy about it.  And I don't even want to know how they make an essence of an "Ascended Master."

2)  If you are giving your pet something that is completely safe and non-toxic, can't be overused or misused, is compatible with all other treatments, and can be given to the wrong animal at the wrong time with no effect, isn't it safe to assume that the treatment itself is worthless?

3)  Lastly, who comes up with this stuff?  I mean, come on.  How on earth would putting the reproductive organs of a plant into water and exposing it to moonlight "imprint vibrational energy" into the water?  (Whatever "imprinting vibrational energy" is supposed to mean.)  If you want me to believe this blather, then design me an Vibrational Energy-o-Meter, and show that the needle pegs when you put the sensor in flower essence water, and doesn't respond with plain old tap water.  Until then, this just strikes me as a way to rip off the gullible.

And believe me, it's not that I wouldn't welcome such a thing, if it worked.  I own two dogs, who between them are a walking encyclopedia of canine neuroses.  One of my dogs, Grendel, is a tough-looking, barrel-chested mutt whose appearance has "junkyard dog" written all over it, but whose personality has resulted in our giving him a variety of nicknames, including "CreamPuff," "Mr. Fluffums," and "WussieDog."  He's a cuddler, not a fighter.  Plus, he's terrified of nail clippers, squirt bottles, and other hand-held devices, and runs and hides if we are holding one.  Our other dog, Doolin, is a border collie/coonhound mix, and is a nervous wreck most of the time because the two sides of her personality are constantly at war.  Her coonhound side chases the cats, steals food from the counter, and dumps the trash, and then the collie side feels intensely guilty about it.  If there was a way to sooth her aura, I'd jump right at it.  Her aura probably resembles the little lightning bolts generated by the Tesla coils that were in the background of all of those bad 1960s science fiction movies.

However, even given our dogs' rampant mental issues, I'm not going to waste my time and money messing around with flower essences.  For one thing, they're not cheap -- in the sites I looked at, small bottles of essences start at $15.99.  For another thing, I'm not eager to support people who are hoodwinking the public with pseudoscientific nonsense for which there is not a shred of hard scientific evidence.

For another thing, Grendel would probably be afraid of the dropper bottle.