Smell-o-therapy

I'd always wondered how "aromatherapy" was supposed to work.  I mean, I like nice-smelling things as much as the next guy, but treating diseases by having you smell something just always seemed a little weird to me.  But I'd never really looked into it.

And then a friend sent me this page, wherein we find that it all has to do with "frequencies."

I shoulda known.

Frequency is one of the most misused words in all of woo-woo.  So let's get the definition straight right from the get-go, okay?  Frequency is a measurement of the rate of vibration of anything that is exhibiting rotation, oscillation, vibration, or simple harmonic motion, and is measured by counting the number of cycles completed per second.  A hertz is the standard unit of frequency, and is equal to one cycle per second -- so in a pendulum clock that is keeping good time, the pendulum is swinging at exactly one hertz.  The frequency of sound waves audible to the human ear runs from about 20 hertz to about 18,000 hertz (18 kilohertz).  The electromagnetic spectrum has a much wider range, with the "low" end (radio waves) running all the way down to one hertz or lower, and the "high" end (gamma rays) up into the range of 10²⁴ hertz.  The bit of the electromagnetic spectrum that our eyes are sensitive to -- the familiar rainbow of visible light -- runs in the vicinity of 10¹⁴ hertz, with red having the lowest frequency (around 4 x 10¹⁴ hertz) and violet the highest (around 8 x 10¹⁴ hertz).

All right, thus endeth the science lesson for today.  Let's look at aromatherapy oils, okay?  Hold onto your hats, because we won't be re-entering the realm of science for a while.

The site I linked above begins thusly:

The effectiveness of aromatherapy essential oils cannot be fully understood without some discussion of their frequency or vibration. Frequency is a measurable rate of electrical energy that is constant between any two points. Every living thing has an electrical frequency. Robert O. Becker, M.D., documents the electrical frequency of the human body in his book, The Body Electric. A "frequency generator" was developed in the early 1020's [sic] by Royal Raymond Rife, M.D. He found that by using certain frequencies, he could destroy a cancer cell or virus. He found that these frequencies could prevent the development of disease, and others would destroy disease. Substances with higher frequency will destroy diseases of a lower frequency.

So, we already have:  (1) a typo that makes it sound like someone was developing electronic devices before the Norman Conquest of England; (2) a guy named "Royal Raymond Rife;" and (3) enough bullshit to fertilize a 50-acre cornfield.  Pretty good start for only one paragraph, don't you think?  But it gets better:

In one test, the frequency of two individuals – the first a 26 year old male and the second a 24 year old male – was measured at 66 MHz each. The first individual held a cup of coffee (without drinking any), and his frequency dropped to 58 MHz in 3 seconds. He put the coffee down and inhaled an aroma of essential oils. Within 21 seconds, his frequency had returned to 66 MHz. The second individual took a sip of coffee and his frequency dropped to 52 MHz in the same 3 seconds. However, no essential oils were used during the recovery time, and it took 3 days for his frequency to return to its initial 66 MHz. One surprising aspect of this study measured the influence that thoughts have on the body's electrical frequency.

Me, I usually vibrate faster after drinking coffee, especially given that I'm from Louisiana, where they don't consider it real coffee unless it's so strong you can stand a spoon upright in it.  I periodically have to replace my coffee mug because the coffee I make has eaten through the ceramic.

But I digress.

So what, then, is the "bioelectric frequency" of various familiar items?  I'm sure you wanted to know, and lo, they provide you with a handy chart:

Fundamental Frequencies of People and Things
(frequencies given in Megahertz)

• Healthy Human Brain...........................................................71-90
• Healthy Human Body (overall).............................................62-68
  • When you have cold symptoms........................................58
  • When you have flu symptoms...........................................57
  • When you have candida infection.....................................55
  • When you have Epstein Barr Syndrome...........................52
  • When you have cancer......................................................42
  • When one begins to die.....................................................25
• Processed or Canned Foods...........................................................0
• Fresh Produce (depending on how fresh)................................10-15
• Dry Herbs................................................................................12-22
• Fresh Herbs.............................................................................20-27
• Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils......................................52-320

So let's see -- canned tuna isn't vibrating at all, and infections of various sorts make you vibrate slower until finally you die when you reach 25 megahertz.  Presumably after you die you continue to decrease in vibration until you reach the canned-tuna stage.

And last, we find out two important things: (1) if you pray over your aromatherapy oils, they vibrate faster; and (2) exposing the body to the highest frequencies causes "spiritual changes."  Thus, I suppose irradiating yourself with gamma rays would just make you experience all sorts of spiritual growth, or possibly just turn you into The Incredible Hulk.  Which, now that I come to think of it, is a spiritual change of a rather impressive magnitude.

So once again, we have some people making unsubstantiated health claims that could potentially convince someone with a life-threatening disease to abandon conventional therapy for sitting around inhaling rose oil.  And despite the disclaimer at the bottom of the page -- "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.  These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease," it sounds like that is exactly what they are suggesting.  And when you read the bit that comes immediately before the disclaimer, it becomes even clearer:

The penetrating characteristic of essential oils greatly enhances their ability to be effective. Essential oils will penetrate into the body when applied to the skin. Placed on the foot they will be distributed to every cell in the body in 21 minutes. They will even penetrate a finger or toe nail to treat fungus underneath.

Essential oils stay in the body about 20 minutes to 2 hours and leave no residuals. The effects and frequency are accumulative when the mental attitude changes. We must have a desire to change and work on it or the old programming will keep coming back. Oils are a precursor to set up stage for action and a catalyst to do the work (the blood stream). Oils go where the need is present and are activated in that area. Testing on the thyroid, heart and pancreas showed that the oils reached these organs in 3 seconds! When layered, one oil applied over another, it is faster. The body absorbs the oils fastest by inhalation and second fastest by applying to the feet or ears. The oils also cross the blood brain barrier; they piggy-back the energy waves to get into the cells.

All the essential oils deliver cell wall penetrating oxygen, and it is the unhealthy cells that need the oxygen for the road back to health. When the cell wall thickens, oxygen can’t get in – life expectancy of a cell is 120 days to 4 months). Cells divide making 2 duplicate cells, and if it is diseased, it will make 2 new diseased cells. When we stop the mutation of the cells and create healthy cells, we stop the disease. Therapeutic grade essential oils can restore cells to normal in 7 seconds.

Do not wait until you have the “right” essential oil before administering to a symptom. You cannot be doing it wrong if you use any of the oils for any symptom! When an oil causes discomfort, it is because it is pulling toxins, chemical, heavy metals, poisons, parasites and mucus from the system. Either stop taking the oils for a short time to make sure your body isn’t eliminating too fast or dilute the oils with V-6 Mixing Oil until the body catches up with the releasing. These toxins go back into the system if they cannot be released. If a person does not like the smell of an oil, it is usually because of an acidic condition.

How is this not a claim to "diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease?"

Once again, I think the thing we need to cure first here is ignorance of biological science.  Given a basic background in biology -- I mean, come on, the sophomores in my Introductory Biology class could debunk this stuff -- anyone would be able to recognize the falsity of these claims.  And we wouldn't have to get the FDA involved, because no one would buy the "essential oils" unless they wanted to use them for the one purpose they have -- to make your house smell better.

Anecdotal evidence and restless coffins

As a kid, I loved scary stories.  Still do, really.  And one of the tales I remember reading in one of those books with names like True Tales of Terror was the famous story of the moving coffins of Barbados.

You might well have heard this one yourself, as it's made the rounds, and is often used to support the contention that Spirits and Mysterious Forces of the Supernatural actually exist.  Here's an abbreviated version; if you'd like to find out more, a little digging will turn up a more detailed, and undoubtedly scarier, description of the alleged facts of the case.

The Chase family of Barbados were wealthy plantation owners, and had a family vault carved out of stone in the churchyard of Christ Church Parish, in the town of Oistins.  The first person whose body was placed in the vault was a Mrs. Thomasina Goddard, in 1807.  Two-year-old Mary Ann Chase was laid to rest there in 1812, and her older sister Dorcas Chase in 1814.  A few weeks later, Dorcas and Mary Ann's father, Thomas Chase, died, and when the vault was opened to receive his coffin, the three coffins that had already been interred there were found moved -- none were in their original places.  The three coffins were put back where they should have been, and the Chase family patriarch's coffin added.  The family suspected that the disarray had been caused by an attempted grave robbery, and to foil further attacks they had a large stone cemented across the opening.

The Chase Vault, Christ Church Parish, Oistins, Barbados

When it was reopened four years later for the burial of eleven-year-old Charles Brewster Ames, the coffins were again found moved, even though the stone and its cement binding were undisturbed.  Even Thomas Chase's heavy, lead-lined coffin was out of place.  Fifty-two days later, it was again reopened for the burial of Samuel Brewster, and once again the coffins were in disarray, including one of them standing against the wall head-downward.

By this time, the story was becoming a well-known mystery across the island, and when it was opened again in 1819, and again found in a state of chaos, the governor of the island, Lord Combermere, ordered an investigation.  A layer of fine sand was spread on the floor of the vault, and the opening was sealed again, an insignia of the governor's pressed into the wet cement to prevent any trickery.  The governor ordered the vault reopened in 1820 -- and again, the same result.  The coffins were moved -- but the sand, and the seal, were undisturbed.

The governor ordered the coffins reburied elsewhere, which was promptly done.  The vault was abandoned, but is still in existence, and many people visit it yearly to see the site of such a chilling legend.

Now, of course, the first question for a skeptic is: what is the quality of the evidence?

The fact is: not very high.  The originator of the tale seems to be Reverend Thomas Orderson, Rector of Christ Church, who claimed to have been there at the various openings of the vault.  The problem is, the sources of the time, based on Orderson's recollections, all vary in their details -- the one I presented above is the one that has appeared in most recent publications.  But the earliest versions, such as the one that appeared in James Edward Alexander's Transatlantic Sketches in 1833, and other recountings of the story that were published in 1844 and 1860, disagree with each other considerably.

Add that to the fact that folklorist Andrew Lang went to Barbados, and combed through the registers of Christ Church Parish for anything that could substantiate the information contained in the story -- and found nothing.  Not even the newspapers of the time, which certainly would have published such a sensational story, had a hint of the wild goings on in the Chase vault.

Much has been said about the possible causes of the "restless coffins" incident -- seepage of water into the vault, earthquakes, and the more outlandish answers of vengeful ghosts, voodoo, or evil curses.  But in order even to have a need for an explanation, we have to establish first that there is something to explain -- and in the case of the Barbados coffins, it seems likely that the whole thing was spun from whole cloth, probably by Reverend Orderson himself.

Psychics and ghost-hunters often get impatient with skeptics for their tendency to turn a wry eye on anecdotal evidence, but the fact is, eyewitness accounts and recollections of events are notoriously unreliable.  Odd, isn't it, that eyewitness testimony is considered the highest level of reliability in a court of law, when in science, it's usually considered one of the lowest?  It is simply too easy to fool the human perceptual apparatus, to twist memory or engender memories that are entirely false, and (not to put too fine a point on it) to lie outright.  It may be that juries take eyewitnesses seriously, but in science, we need more than just someone saying, "I saw it happen myself, I remember it clearly."

A slice of pi

Sometimes you have to admire the woo-woos' dogged determination to fashion the universe into their own bizarre version of reality.

Most of us, I'd like to think, just see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and don't make such a big deal out of it.  If we want to believe in a Higher Power That Guides Everything, we do, and don't spend endless hours crafting abstruse proofs of the conjecture.  We're content to have a beer, watch a hockey game, and let god have some much-needed quiet time.

There are a few people, however, who just aren't content if they're not actively beating the matter into submission.  Such a person is Marty Leeds, Wisconsin-born writer, mystic, philosopher, and the origin of dozens of highly entertaining YouTube videos.

Just yesterday, I was sent a link to one of Leeds' creations, entitled, "The Holy Spirit, Pi, and the English Alphabet."  The link was accompanied by a message stating, and I quote: "Words cannot describe the level of derp in this video."  So of course I had to watch it.  And I wasn't disappointed.

If you're unwilling to sacrifice ten minutes of your precious time, and countless innocent cells in your prefrontal cortex that will die in agony, allow me to present to you the main points of Leeds' argument.

1)  There's this thing called gematria that was made up a while back by some Hebrew mystics who had overactive imaginations and too much free time.  The idea behind gematria is that each letter in the alphabet (whether Hebrew, English, or other) is assigned a number, and when you add up the numbers for a word or name, you get a number that "means something."

2)  You get to decide what the numbers mean.

3)  If two words add up to the same thing, they are mystically linked.  Leeds uses a form of gematria which takes the English alphabet, splits it into two lists of thirteen letters each (A-M, and N-Z), and numbers each list from 1 through 7 and then back down to 1.  So my first name, Gordon, would be 7+2+5+4+2+1 = 21.  "Sharp" is 6+6+1+5+3, which also adds up to 21.  So you can see that thus far, we have a pretty persuasive theory here.

4)  Leeds then does a gematria addition for four words or phrases.  We have "man" = 3, "woman" = 9, "Christian" = 39, and "The Holy Spirit" = 61.  Note that he had to add a "the" to the last one to make it work out the way he wanted.

5)  So, let's look at the first thirteen digits of pi.  He picked thirteen because we had split the alphabet into two groups of thirteen letters each, which seems like impeccable logic to me, given the obvious connection between pi and the English alphabet.  So, we have 3.141592653589.  It starts with 3 and ends with 9 -- giving you "39."  So right away, we can see that there's something wonderfully Christian about pi, not to mention having a man on one end and a woman on the other.  Also, 3+9 = 12, and 3x9 = 27, and 12+27 = 39.  So you get your 3 and 9 back, so "man + woman" + "man x woman" = "Christian."  Or something like that.

6)  Take the middle number in the sequence (2) and the two on either side (9 and 6).  Why?  Because tridents, that's why.  Stop asking questions.

7)  If you multiply 9x2x6, you get 108, which is a very holy and important number.  Myself, I just thought it was the most convenient way of getting from 107 to 109, but what do I know?  But the Hindus liked the number 108, and plus, it's the number of stitches on a baseball, so there you are.

8)  Now, take the remaining digits of pi, and basically draw a menorah under them.  You then put them together in pairs, flip 'em around, and add 'em together.  I really don't want to go into all of how he does that, because my cortical neurons are already whimpering for mercy, so you'll just have to either watch the video or else just accept on faith that somehow all of the numbers and flipped numbers and all add up to 352.  Then, you add that to the 2 and 6 from the trident bit, and you get 360, which is the number of degrees in a circle.  Get it?  Circle?  Pi?  Are you blown away?  (Okay, he left out the 9.  But still.)

9)  If you multiply the first through eighth digits of pi, you get 6,480.  If you multiply the eighth through the thirteenth digits, you get 32,400.  Subtract them, and you get 25,920, which he says is the number of years for the precession of the Earth's axis to complete one rotation.  Except that according to the Cornell University Astronomy Department's webpage on the precession of the Earth's axis, the length of the precession of the Earth is said to be "about 26,000 years" -- the imprecision being because a motion that slow is almost impossible to measure accurately.  But I think we call all agree that since we're using gematria as our jumping-off point, being off by eighty years or so is plenty accurate enough.

10)  Of course, like any good performer, he saves his most amazing bit for the end, wherein we find out that the first thirteen digits of pi add up to 61, which you will recall is the number of "The Holy Spirit."  So pi "encodes" (his word) The Holy Spirit and the precession of the equinoxes.

11)  Therefore god.  Q.E.D.


Well, I  hope you've enjoyed our little ramble through woo-woo arithmetic.  Me, I'm planning on watching some of Leeds' other videos when I have the time (two especially fascinating-sounding ones are "The Isis and Osiris Myth" and "The Holy 108").  However, I think next time I won't launch into this without something to insulate my poor brain against further damage.  I'm thinking that a double scotch might do the trick.

Menu planning by blood type

A few months ago, I wrote about the silly idea that in order to have a happy love life, you need to consider the compatibility of your blood type with that of your prospective romantic interest.  Additionally, your blood type predicts your personality, and what career your should pursue.  My general response:  "As if astrology wasn't ridiculous enough."  (Read my post about it here.) 

Now, to make matters worse, a major magazine has published an article that suggests that your blood type determines what you should eat for dinner.

Last month's issue of Men's Fitness had a piece, in amongst the usual fare featuring weight-lifting tips, bullet points about how to drive your woman crazy in bed, and photographs of shirtless guys with washboard abs, entitled "Eat According to Your Blood Type."  In the introduction to the article, the author, Lauren Passell, writes:

You feel like you’re doing everything right, health-wise. You eat salmon and quinoa, you exercise regularly, you even take the stairs. But if you're still plagued by midday lethargy, digestion issues or just can't lose weight, you might want to take something unorthodox into consideration—your blood type.

According to Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo, author of Eat Right 4 Your Type, whether you’re an A, B, AB or O, your blood type reveals eye-opening things about your personality and your body's needs. Here's what Dr. D'Adamo says about what foods and workouts will help you reach your blood type's fitness goals.

Myself, I think my midday lethargy has nothing to do with my blood type, but more to do with the fact that my dog likes to wake me up at three in the morning because he has an urgent need to play tug-of-war.  But let's see more of what D'Adamo has to say.

Type Os, he claims, are "descended from hunter-gatherers who relied mainly on animal protein to survive their strenuous lifestyles."  He also says that Type O is the "original blood type."

Well, right away, this sent up a couple of red flags.  Aren't we all descended from hunter-gatherers?  It's not like some of us come from proto-hominids in Africa, and others of us come from fruit bats.  And the thing about Type O being the "original blood type" is simply wrong.  The gene that codes for Type O blood is actually a mutated version of the Type A allele -- it has a single-base loss (frameshift mutation) that turns one of the functional codons into a stop code, causing the premature shutoff of translation of the gene and preventing the creation of a functional A antigen.  (The O allele, therefore, produces no functional gene product -- which is why it's recessive.)  The A allele is pretty clearly the oldest of the three ABO blood group alleles.

So this leads us to one important conclusion, to wit: don't make silly claims about genetics, because someone who actually knows something about genetics will call you out on it.

Let's move on, though, because I'm sure you other blood types will want to know what to plan for dinner.

Type As, D'Adamo says, gained the upper hand when agriculture was invented and the "hunter-gatherer Os started thinning out."  If you're Type A, you "have the digestive enzymes and bacteria it takes to digest grains and plants that other blood types might have a rough time breaking down."  Type As should limit red meat and fill their plates with vegetables; the best meal for a Type A is "tofu-pesto lasagna."  Type As also tend to have digestive upsets because they're "Type A personalities."  (I want you to appreciate how hard it was for me to write that last sentence without doing a faceplant directly into my keyboard.)

 Type Bs, on the other hand, "emerged when type Os moved to the Himalayas as nomads, domesticating animals and living on meat and dairy."  He did get one thing right, here, in the manner of a monkey pounding on a typewriter and eventually spelling out a real word; Type B blood has its peak frequency in India.  Otherwise, however, he's pretty much batting zero, because he says that Type Bs need lots of dairy products "because of a sugar present in milk," conveniently ignoring the fact that Type B is very common in East Asia, where the vast majority of people are also genetically lactose intolerant.

Oops.

Type ABs, "the newest blood type," combine the characteristics of A and B (no surprise).  Their "low stomach acid" makes them "store meat as fat," so they need to eat lots of eggs.    I swear, I didn't make that claim up.  Go to the article, which I've linked above, if you don't believe me.

What appalls me most about this is not that D'Adamo wrote a book.  In these days of e-publishing, any yahoo with a computer can write a book.  (Note my links on the right side of the page.)  What bothers me is that a major magazine actually published this article, never once asking the critical question, "What is your evidence for all of this?"  (Not to mention the more important question, "Where did you get your medical degree?  Online Diplomas 'R' Us?")  The problem is, a lot of people don't think of questioning something that is written by a guy with "Dr." in front of his name, especially those of us who don't have a great background in science.  After all, the target readership of Men's Fitness is not scientists; it's just guys who would like to tone up and slim down (and drive their women crazy in bed).  So I'm sure after this issue came out, you had loads of very earnest guys going through their fridges and making sure that their food was in line with their blood type, instead of doing the simple thing that all of us should do, which is to eat a balanced diet and get plenty of exercise.  But of course, "eat a balanced diet and get plenty of exercise" isn't the kind of advice that sells books, or lands your ideas a national forum in a men's health magazine.

So, the bottom line; D'Adamo's claims are total horse waste.  Myself, I'm glad, because I'm a Type A, and I'll be damned if I'm going to give up my t-bone steaks for "tofu-pesto lasagna."

Comas, the afterlife, and absolute proof

Just yesterday, I was telling my Critical Thinking class to be cautious whenever an argument includes, in its conclusion, the word "only."  A set of premises that is followed up by, "... and the only possible conclusion that can be drawn from this is..." is,  in my opinion, automatically suspect.  Even given the truth of the premises, is that really the only possible conclusion?  There isn't any other explanation that adequately fits what is known?

All of this is germane to a story that has been making the rounds of Christian and atheist websites, and has even hit mainstream media, which makes a fascinating claim -- that a doctor's experience of visions during a coma proves the existence of an afterlife.  The fullest accounts are to be had in Newsweek and in an online version over at The Daily Beast -- the latter article, called "Proof of Heaven: A Doctor's Experience With the Afterlife," details the experiences of Dr. Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon who contracted bacterial meningitis and was plunged into a coma that lasted seven days.  During those seven days, Alexander experienced a profound set of visions:

There is no scientific explanation for the fact that while my body lay in coma, my mind—my conscious, inner self—was alive and well. While the neurons of my cortex were stunned to complete inactivity by the bacteria that had attacked them, my brain-free consciousness journeyed to another, larger dimension of the universe: a dimension I’d never dreamed existed and which the old, pre-coma me would have been more than happy to explain was a simple impossibility.

In that "larger dimension," Alexander experienced seeing flocks of "transparent, shimmering beings,"  felt a wind that was "like a divine breeze," and had a conversation with an angelic female being who, amongst other things, told him that he was loved and cherished, that he had nothing to fear, and that he could do nothing wrong.

From his experiences, Alexander says, there can only be one possible conclusion:

Today many believe that the living spiritual truths of religion have lost their power, and that science, not faith, is the road to truth. Before my experience I strongly suspected that this was the case myself.

But I now understand that such a view is far too simple. The plain fact is that the materialist picture of the body and brain as the producers, rather than the vehicles, of human consciousness is doomed. In its place a new view of mind and body will emerge, and in fact is emerging already. This view is scientific and spiritual in equal measure and will value what the greatest scientists of history themselves always valued above all: truth.

Okay, I will accept that this is one possible conclusion; but is it the only possible conclusion?

The commonalities between many Near-Death Experiences -- the tunnel of white light, the experience of being surrounded by love, the meetings with deceased friends and relatives -- might have as an explanation that there is an afterlife, where we are being eagerly awaited by those who loved us, and hosts of angels will sing at our arrival.  It might, of course, only be what some neurologists believe -- the common sensory experience of neural shutdown as our brains run out of oxygen.  It has been noted that many times NDEs are populated with experiences that follow the lines of what we expected to happen -- Christians, for example, tend to fill their NDEs with Christian imagery, Hindus with Hindu imagery, and so on.  This by itself makes me wonder.  (For the best exposition of the discrepancies and cultural dependency of NDEs I've come across, see this site.  It brings up a lot of questions that are hard to answer if you believe that NDEs are actually visions of an afterlife.)

Of course, my thoughts are also colored on this topic by the fact that a dear friend of mine, who is (like me) a devout atheist, spent not seven days but a full month in a deep coma following a botched surgery.  Alex has only just begun, after three years, to share with his friends what he experienced in that month during which he was effectively shut down, but the little has told me is mindboggling.  He had visions, he said, of whole other lives, spent years that somehow were collapsed into the space of less than a month.  He visited places he's never been, had relationships with people he's never met. 

Was all of this stuff that Alex experienced real?  I would never presume to answer this myself, having never experienced anything remotely similar; and I think that Alex himself is still struggling to settle on an answer in his own mind.  I think, however, that it is both premature and presumptuous to use the word only in any conclusion we draw from what we now know about NDEs, coma visions, and out-of-body experiences.  Could they be experiences of an afterlife, or at least a life beyond what we see?  It's possible.  Myself, I'd be thrilled at the prospect; I'm not fond of the idea of checking out, and if I knew that there was a happy world waiting for me filled with divine breezes and beautiful angelic women, no one would be happier than me.  Could these experiences be only byproducts of our dying brains, a byproduct of the flurry of electrical activity that occurs as our neurons run out of oxygen?  It's possible.  At the moment, I just don't see that there's enough evidence to decide either way.

Eben Alexander, whose memoir Proof of Heaven is soon to be released by Simon & Schuster, is absolutely convinced by what he saw and heard while he was in a coma.  For the rest of us, who have not shared his experiences, the fact of the matter is that we'll just have to wait until the end... and see what happens.

Shielding yourself from nonsense

A regular reader and frequent contributor to Skeptophilia commented recently, "Having done this blog for as long as you have...  I am surprised you have not yet thrown up your hands and said: 'Fine. Everything's true!  Aliens, Vampires, Yeti, Roswell, Nibiru, Atlantis...  Whatever!  All of it!  Blargh!'  ...and gone to live in a cave of solitude.  I do appreciate your resolve, good sir."

Notwithstanding that his comment gave me a good laugh, I have to admit that sometimes it's tempting.  As has been shown over and over again, people will believe what they want to believe.  But I have to believe myself that if exposed to rationalism, if taught a little science, most people will (as it were) see the light.

Because, after all, that's what scientific thinking does, isn't it?  It casts light on a previously shadowed bit of reality, and allows you to see it clearly for what it is.  Science takes fuzzy thinking and makes it sharp, hard-edged, accurate.

By way of example, let's look at this bit of woo-woo I ran across just yesterday: an advertisement for a "Total Shield EMF Protection Device."  Here's the sales pitch:

This popular multipurpose unit neutralizes electromagnetic fields and geopathic stress in your home or office. For EMF protection, the Total Shield produces a 7.83 Hz field (the Earth’s natural field, also called the Schumann Resonance), which blankets a 20,000-square-foot area (or more, depending on the model) and overcomes negative EMF fields. It protects you from all electrical and electronic devices, including computers, TVs, microwaves, even power lines outside your house. For geopathic stress, the unit detects and then amplifies the waves, reversing them by 180 degrees and retransmitting them. This counteracts the harmful waves, similar to how noise cancellation technology uses a low hum to cancel sounds. You can use the Total Shield in one of three ways: EMF protection only, geopathic stress only or a combination of both. Colored lights blink at the Schumann resonance and can be used for stress relief or to help with biofeedback. Operates on AC adapter (included). The units are available in four coil strengths, with each additional coil adding 50% more intensity. Stronger units are appropriate for people who are very sensitive to EMFs; who have a large number of electronic devices in their home or office; or who live very close to power lines or stations.

Sounds pretty cool, no?  No more nasty negative EMF fields (whatever those are); counteracting "geopathic stress" (whatever that is); and aligning your house to the "Schumann Resonance" (whatever that is).  Not to mention colored lights blinking, and noise cancellation, and all sorts of other special offers.

Well, looked at through the lens of science, the whole thing kind of falls apart, as you probably predicted it would.

First, the sales pitch is correct that electronic devices produce EMF (electromagnetic fields).  That is, after all, how they work.  However, a great many peer-reviewed and controlled experiments have failed to establish any connection between exposure to EMF and human disease.  The funniest part of this claim is that if the device really did what it claims to -- neutralizing EMF in all forms, over a 20,000 square foot area -- this would block all radiation that is carried by fluctuations in the electromagnetic field, presumably including light.  This would mean that once you turned on the machine, you would immediately vanish from sight, which would be kind of cool.  (You also wouldn't be able to see out of it, which would be less cool but still pretty striking.)

Well, what about "geopathic stress?"  Sounds bad, no?  Well, I did a little bit of digging, and found the site GeopathicStress.com, wherein we find out that "geopathic stress" occurs when a place is sick because of a "bad emotional imprint:"

When a building appears to be causing ill health or 'non wellness' in people, most common conclusion is that the building may be subject to geopathic stress. However there are in fact at least three distinct areas to be addressed in house clearing work and for satisfactory results we must attend to them all.

One of the problem areas we investigate when dealing with 'sickness of place' is indeed the debilitating effects related to geological anomalies and underground water courses in or about buildings. The other two categories however, relate to strong emotional imprints in a place, and what can loosely be called 'spirit' presence. When working in houses we search for all three of these factors and build up an overall picture by taking them together.

Difficulties in dwellings are seldom straightforward. They tend more often to derive from various combinations of influence rather than neatly fitting into one category or another. Moreover, there is usually a natural sequence by which we should proceed. For instance, it is strongly recommended in situations where 'spirit presence' is encountered, that this aspect be attended to first, before moving on to apply any corrective measures indicated for geopathic stress anomalies found.

We are then told that the appropriate response, once you find out that your house is exhibiting "geopathic stress," is to consult a shaman.  No, I'm not making this up.

So, okay, I think we can move on to #3, the "Schumann Resonance."  What, you might ask, is this?  A thirty-second consultation of the Wikipedia article about the Schumann Resonance allowed me to learn the following:

The Schumann resonances (SR) are a set of spectrum peaks in the extremely low frequency (ELF) portion of the Earth's electromagnetic field spectrum. Schumann resonances are global electromagnetic resonances, excited by lightning discharges in the cavity formed by the Earth's surface and the ionosphere.

So, if you're not an atmospheric scientist, the Schumann resonance would only be interesting to you as a curiosity.  It's not "the Earth's natural field," and a light blinking at that rate might be pretty, but otherwise won't accomplish much.

So, the "Total Shield EMF Protection Device" seems like a bit of a bust, scientifically.  And how much do they want for it?

$325.  $500, if you want the more powerful four-coil model.

See?  Skepticism is good for you.  Especially for your pocketbook.

So, dear readers, no worries that I'll be giving up any time soon.  Frankly, it's kind of fun poking holes in woo-woo ideas.  And if I've saved even one person from wasting his or her money on something like the "Total Shield," the whole thing has been worth it.

Wackosynthesis

Well, once again we have someone who has blenderized several woo-woo ideas to make a brand new fusion-cuisine of looniness.  The most recent perpetrator of this process, which I like to call "wackosynthesis," is a gentleman named Timothy Green Beckley.  In an article just released a couple of days ago, entitled "Legacy of the Sky People: Was Noah's Ark a Strange Vehicle From Mars?", Sean Casteel (regular writer for UFO Digest) gives a highly laudatory review to Beckley's new book, also called Legacy of the Sky People.   Beckley's book costs $20 (plus shipping and handling), which I absolutely refuse to spend, because just from the review, it sounds like a fine example of woo-woo lunacy.  Beckley uses the following ingredients:

• UFOs
• Ancient Astronauts
• Noah's Ark and the biblical flood story
• The monolith on Phobos
• The Roswell Incident
• CIA conspiracies and coverups

He then stirs well and bakes at 350 degrees for forty-five minutes, and comes up with the following idea:

Noah wasn't an ancient Israelite.  He was a superintelligent Martian that was bringing the last remnant of his civilization to Earth, using a spacecraft, which unfortunately crashed on Mount Ararat.  Noah and his Martian pals then genetically engineered the primitive, Bronze-Age humans they found here, and thus was born the human race in all of its nobility.

What proof does he have, you may ask?  Well, besides the incontrovertible evidence of the Book of Genesis, which we all know to be completely scientifically and historically accurate, we also have:

• cave paintings with some bits that look like UFOs.  Interestingly, the one link that Casteel gives to a cave painting website shows some cave paintings that have nothing whatsoever UFO-like on them.
• the ongoing foolishness that there's an alien monolith on Phobos.  The "monolith" is almost certainly a large rock, but that still hasn't stopped all of the people who think that 2001: A Space Odyssey is a historical documentary from blathering endlessly about it on the internet.
• an allegation that there has been an "anomalous object" discovered on the side of Mount Ararat.  As far as I could follow Beckley and Casteel's logic, the "object" isn't made of "gopher wood," which leaves only one conclusion: it is the wrecked remnants of a spaceship.

Beckley and Casteel also cite some references, which read as a veritable cast-list of woo-woo.  These include:

• Erich von Däniken, who is still making money writing books about the "god(s) are ancient aliens" idea
• Zecharia Sitchin,  who started the whole "Annunaki" business
• Giorgio Tsoukalos,  who publishes Legendary Times, co-produces the series Ancient Aliens, and who has really amazing hair
• Tim Swartz, editor of Conspiracy Journal
• Brinsley LePoer Trench, who besides having a name that's a lot of fun to say, was a member of the British House of Lords, and was one of the first real UFO enthusiasts.  He famously started a debate on the floor of Parliament, and pushed the Members to vote on whether they thought aliens had visited the Earth.  (The result:  "No.")
• Nick Redfern, of Bigfoot fame, and contributing editor of Phenomena magazine
• George van Tassel, one of the most renowned alien abductees

Well, I think we can all agree that with a star-studded list of references like that, we have no other choice but to believe everything Beckley and Casteel are saying.

If, unlike me, you still want to purchase Beckley's book, the link I posted above has Beckley's contact information and all the information you need about price.  There is also price and purchase information on Beckley's other books, which include The American Indian Starseed Connection, Other Tongues Other Flesh Revisited, Ancient Secrets of Mysterious America: Revealing our True Cosmic Destiny, and Alien Space Gods of Ancient Greece and Rome: Revelations of the Oracle of Delphi.  So I think you can see that if you're so inclined, there's a wealth of reading material, here.

As for me, I think I'll pass.  The review was enough to give me a general flavor for Beckley's "theories," and I already think I'm going to need more coffee to get the taste out of my mouth.