Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

"Many people" report alien sightings in Siberia!

Apparently, if you're an alien, Siberia is the place to be.  Who'da thought?  Me, if I was an alien, capable of traveling through interstellar space in my flying saucer and presumably landing wherever I wanted, I'd pick somewhere rather nicer, not to mention warmer.  Availability of margaritas would also be a consideration, as would the presence of scantily-clad women.  So I find it a bit peculiar that you never see aliens in, for example, Cozumel.

But for whatever reason, Siberia seems to be the happenin' place, for aliens.  Back in 2007, there was the discovery of some quartz rocks with "mysterious inscriptions" on them, near the site where the Tunguska meteorite hit the ground in 1908.  Now, it must be mentioned at this juncture that many people think that the Tunguska event wasn't a meteorite at all, but the explosion of an interstellar spacecraft.  (By "many people" I mean "people who have waffle batter where most of us have brains.")  The quartz rocks with the inscriptions disappeared shortly after the claim was made; and there has never been a single metal fragment recovered from the site that could be, for example, a catalytic converter from a spacecraft.  Further, there is no trace of radioactivity at Tunguska, indicating the use of some sort of nuclear propulsion device.  But this just makes our aforementioned "many people" say, "they're pretty wily, these aliens!  Even when they crash and blow up and presumably all die, they still remember to cleverly erase all the evidence!  Including suspicious quartz rocks!"

Then, last month, air traffic controllers in Siberia took a break from a highly critical nap time to log a flying craft, moving at an estimated 1000 km/hour near the city of Yakutsk.  The object changed directions several times.  When the air traffic controllers tried to contact it, all they heard was "a female voice" saying "meow meow all the time."  The object finally vanished off the radar screen.  There's a video of the event on YouTube, but to my disappointment you never get to hear the meowing.  All you hear are some people chattering in Russian, and you see some blips on a screen.  But what crossed my mind was, "Someone had a hand-held videocamera in an air traffic control tower?"  Because that is clearly what the video was made with.  It's not an official-looking video at all.  In fact, it pretty much screams "hoax" at me, but I don't have much to support that other than a hunch.  I hope I'm right, though; I have enough trouble with the cats that are already here, clawing up the sofa and jumping on the dinner table and leaving dismembered dead rodents on the carpet and so on.  The last thing we need are superpowerful alien kitties who have learned how to fly.

Last, we have a report only a couple of days ago of an alien corpse found near the village of Kamensk.  (Check out the video here).  The video captioning asks how some poor Russians could afford to fake something this convincing, which is certainly a question worth considering.  The alien is admittedly creepy looking, lying there in the snow.  One of its legs is missing, which "many people" are saying is because it died in a horrific spaceship crash.  There's only one problem with this theory, and that is that when a spaceship crashes, you'd think that somewhere nearby you'd have a crashed spaceship, but all there is is this dead naked alien lying in the snow.

And that brings up another point: why would anyone, especially a presumably intelligent alien, want to be naked in Siberia?  I'm fully supportive of wearing as little clothing as is legally permissible when the weather is warm,  but being naked in Siberia seems to be just asking for freezing off critical body parts.  Not that this alien appears to have any of the critical body parts I was thinking about, if you catch my drift.  They never do, do they?  All of the alien-dissection videos seem to show these alien bodies, stark naked, but with no reproductive organs whatsoever.  "Yes, well," respond "many people," "that's because they're so highly evolved that they reproduce a different way."  Myself, I'm kind of fond of the old way, and if that's where evolution is heading, I'll just take a pass, okay?

In any case, it turns out that this one is a fake, not that there was another option.  The guys who "found" the alien admitted under questioning that they made it out of a chicken skin and some bread.  This answers our earlier question of how poor Russians could afford to make such a fake.  I'm impressed, actually; it's pretty damn scary-looking, and I admire their artistic skill.  I know I couldn't do anything near as clever with a chicken skin and bread.

So, it looks like our Siberian alien sightings are 0 for 3.  It's just as well.  If there was really a serious claim of evidence for aliens in Siberia, I'd feel obliged to go there to investigate, and I hate the cold.  Even if I have all of my critical body parts well insulated.  So, I guess we'll just need to wait and see what happens.  If you hear any more reports coming in from "many people," do let me know.


  1. Great post. Am a skeptic myself most times. UFO sightings are sketchy. No one can really get a good picture evidently. Check out my blog sometimes if bored.

  2. It always strikes me as odd that people always seem to have shakycam footage of paranormal stuff. I NEVER see people just walking around, filming things on a portable camera. Generally someone has to have a purpose when they're filming something, and I'm always highyl skeptical of people who "just happened" to have their camera on them when this weird, fantastically improbable event occurs.