Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Spirit guides and orgasms, or your money back!

This morning, I was sitting at my computer, drinking coffee and hoping that the caffeine would jumpstart my brain despite being awakened at 5:30 AM by my dogs, who definitely do not understand the concept of "the weekend," and I happened upon the following advertisement:

"The Unexplainable Store (TM) !  100% Guaranteed!  Altered State of Consciousness or YOUR MONEY BACK!!!"

Naturally, I had to click on the link, and it brought me here.

The homepage, as you may have just discovered, has dozens of little links with titles and cartoon images for things like the following:
  • Astral Projection
  • Lucid Dreaming
  • Remote Viewing
  • Past-life Regression
  • Spirit Guide Contact
  • Shaman Consciousness
  • Christ Consciousness
  • Immune System
  • Endorphin Release
  • Serotonin Release
  • Allergy Relief
  • DNA Stimulation
  • Fountain of Youth
  • Orgasms
(The last one's cartoon drawing is just some fireworks, so don't get your hopes up.)

To save you a little time, and countless valuable cells in your prefrontal cortex, let me tell you what you find if you click on the links.

Each one starts out with a brief description, basically telling the reader how nice it would be if you had a spirit guide, shaman consciousness, stimulated DNA, the knowledge of past lives, and so on.  They feature sentences such as the following:
Imagine a world where communication with the dead is possible.  What could we discover about others, and even ourselves?
How often do you use wisdom gained from your past to plan your future?  What if there were a whole other life filled with memories and experiences?  What would you be able to do with the added wisdom of a whole other life?
Now, when I first started clicking on these links, I expected each one to lead to a pitch for a different product, as allergy relief has little to do with (for example) orgasms.  But no, each one ultimately led to an advertisement for the following:
Binaural Beats- Sine wave generators are used to create two separate frequency waves, which are introduced to each ear independently. The brain reacts by creating a third tone, making up the difference of the two. It instantly reacts to these frequencies causing a Shift In Consciousness. Using this technology, your brain can be programmed to weed out interferences and open up the communication channels inside your mind that are blocked by your own consciousness. 

Isochronic Tones- If you are looking for the most effective type of brainwave entrainment, Isochronic Tones are the way to go. Isochronic Tones also use equal intensity tones, but the pulse speed is greater, causing the brain to synchronize with the rhythm.  In 1999, Thomas Budzynski Ph.D.  published a case in the Journal of Neurotherapy which showed that a group of 8 college students increased their GPA with the use of audio brainwave stimulation, and their GPA continued to increase even after the brainwave entrainment was finished...
In the realm where Alpha and Theta waves exist, creativity becomes infused with the deep subconscious thoughts that comprise our dreams.  In this state, the deepest and oldest thoughts manifest and are pushed into your consciousness, allowing you to finally understand things that may have been significant to you for several years without you even being aware.  Irrational behavior becomes crystal clear and transparent.  Your true motivations, fears, hopes, and dreams become clear so you can set out to become the person you really want to be!
And you can download both of these INSTANTLY for only $38!  ($14 for the "binaural beats" and $24 for the "isochronic tones;" no explanation for why the "binaural beats" are cheaper.)  They have a sample that you can listen to (only a 45-second clip, not enough to have a full past-life regression or anything), and my general reaction is that it sounds like someone playing New Age synthesizer music with a washing machine running in the background.

So, anyway, I'm thinking that if you are interested in contacting a spirit guide, or whatever, this probably isn't going to do it for you.  But I do encourage you to take a look at the site, and listen to the clip.  Let me know if it triggers you to experience some shaman consciousness, or to have a lucid dream.  If it makes you have an orgasm, however, that's between you and your "binaural beats."


  1. I'm guessing similar things can be found at the library book sale for $1, so save your money on this and buy something you really need: An "African VOODOO Health Healing Cure Pain SPELL Necklace." They're on eBay (free shipping).

  2. Try if you want to try listening. They offer free isochronic tones.