Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Buddhism, anagrams, and amino acids

In today's news, we have a new revelation from noted wingnut Dan Green.  Dan Green, you might recall, is the one who smooshed together biblical prophecies, the Templars, the World Cup, and Lincoln Cathedral and found that if you looked at the resulting mash-up just right you found out that Britain was going to experience a devastating earthquake.

There was only one teensy problem with this theory, and that was that the earthquake never happened.  But such a lack of results never discourages people like Green.  "I will come up with something even more abstruse and ridiculous next time!" they always say.  "And this time, it will be right!  You'll see!"

So even if the earthquake refused to show up on schedule, Green has, coming out with this new outpouring of nonsense, which uses accidental similarities between various scientific words (such as the names of the amino acids) and words from ordinary English and words from the Buddhist tradition to claim that science is actually Buddhism in disguise.  Or vice versa.  Who the hell can tell?  Most of Green's claims are so outlandish that at first it is tempting to believe that he's joking; but he delivers it all with such ponderous gravity that I am very much afraid he's serious, that he thinks he's really on to something, here.  Here are a couple of examples:
This cosmic neurological connection continues. The original and enforcedly relinquished seat of power in the Tibetan hierarchy was held by the now exiled Dalai Lama, an actual throne at his now abandoned and empty exquisite Pothala Palace, also known as Summer Palace, in the capital city of Lhasa. Summer Palace is also called Norbulinka, and our code reveals it as an anagram containing 'Brain link'. We will find the Pothala hiding in the word 'Hypothalamus' - 'hy POTHALA mus', a tiny cluster of cells in the brain and an essential link between the brain and the pituitary gland, which is sometimes called the 'Master Gland', as in the Masters of both Tibetan and Indian Buddhism. 'Hypothalamus' also locates 'Summer Palace' - 'Hypothal AMUS .......''Amus' reversed as 'SUMA'.....'Hy P ot HAL am US'...'PHALUS' = phonetic 'Palace'. Furthermore we find more significance in this crucial word, the very origin of the High Lamas of Tibet.....again, 'Hypothalamus' - 'HY potha LAMUS' = phonetic 'High Lamas'.
Well, first of all, "palace" was not what I thought of when I saw "PHALUS."  But maybe I just have a dirty mind.  And further on:
The Four Noble Truths and the 8-Fold Path, in concise form are as follows;

Truth number one - Individualized existence is suffering,
Truth number two - The three poisons; ignorance, attachment and hatred are the cause of suffering,
Truth number three - Suffering ceases when desire ceases,
Truth number four - release can be reached by the 8-Fold Path :

1. Right Seeing
2. Right Thought
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Contemplation.

1. Isoleucine = Right seeing
IS o LEUCINE to read as phonetic 'Eyes looking'

2. Leusine = Right thought
LEUS ine to read as phonetic 'Loose' i.e. lacking a sense of restraint or responsibility : also licentious, unchaste, immoral

3. Lysine = Right speech
LYS ine to be read as phonetic 'Lies', false statements or pieces of information deliberately presented as being true.

4. Methionine = Right action.
To conceal phonetics 'Me', 'Thee' (Thi) and 'Thine' (Thion). Concern for all, regarding our actions.

5. Phenylalanine = Right livelihood.
To be read as phonetic 'Penny' (Pheny) a line (L an INE). A penny, in UK currency, was a coin originally silver, later copper, bronze from 1860, formerly worth 1/240 of £1, now equal to a hundredth part of £1. There is also the term 'bread line', meaning to be living at subsistence level, a modern day epithet to describe the original state of Buddhist living. People living in the UK will be reminded of the weekly 'football pool coupon', a mainstay of British national existence primarily before the advent of the National Lottery, whereby nominal stakes to attempt to win a fortune were staked at a 'penny a line'.

6. Threonine = Right effort.
To be read as phonetic 'Thrown in' (THREON ine = Throne). To put quickly into use or place, the colloquialism to 'throw in' as in colloquialism 'throw in the towel', to accept personal defeat, to give in, to oppose selfish, incorrect effort.

7. Tryptophan = Right mindfulness.
Concealing phonetic 'tripped' (TRYPT), colloquialism to 'trip up', meaning a mistake, slip up or blunder, to go wrong.

8. Valine = Right contemplation.
From vulgar Latin 'Valiente' (VALIEN te), to be strong, to possess, act with or show valour.

These then, are the revealed references, the eight amino acids for healthy growth and their relationship with approved Buddhist thought, until now phonetically veiled in the 8-Fold Path by Prince Siddhartha....SIDDHA rtha

SIDDHA = AHSIDDS = phonetic 'acids'
Really, I'm torn between laughing and crying, here.  "AHSIDDS?"  And when he went on to say that a healthy diet was 2,500 calories because the Buddha was born in 2,500 B.C.E., and that if you took the last part of "carbohydrate" and rearranged it you got "bodhy trae," which sounds like "bodhi tree," the place where the Buddha obtained enlightenment, I gave up.

However, it crosses my mind that two can play at that game.  So, with a little help from the Internet Anagram Server, I came up with the following.

If you rearrange "Daniel Green," you get "eagle dinner."  The eagle is the national symbol of the United States, along with the Stars and Stripes.  The middle of "StarS AND STRIPes" says "sand strip," which is another name for a beach, such as the beach at Normandy where the Allied troops swarmed ashore during World War II, a move that proved to be the beginning of the end for Adolf Hitler, whose name can be rearranged to spell "Harlot Field."  The Harlot is another name for the Scarlet Woman of Babylon in the prophesies of the Book of Revelation, and if you take letters from the phrase "sCARlet woMAN of BABYLon," you get "Car Man Babyl (babble)," a clear reference to Click and Clack, the guys on Car Talk.  Click and Clack are actually Tom and Ray Magliozzi, and if you rearrange "Tom and Ray Magliozzi" you get "dizzying amoral atom," which obviously is referring to nuclear weapons.  Therefore you'd better take Dan Green's prophecies seriously, because otherwise someone's gonna get nuked.

I could keep doing this all day, but I'd better not, because I'm afraid I'd start believing it.  That's the problem with this sort of thing, isn't it?  As the cynical book editors discovered in my all-time favorite novel, Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco, there are seeming correspondences everywhere, and if you know enough you can make anything plausibly link to anything.  Well, "plausibly" if you're willing to suspend disbelief indefinitely -- cherry-picking your examples, and ignoring any data that doesn't fit.  And, of course, if you start from the belief that there is no such thing as meaningless coincidence.  With that as your foundation, you can fashion the world into whatever you please.


  1. Your logic is unimpeachable. I've always thought there was something sinister about those car guys, and now it is revealed!

    Actually, Green's findings may be of use to professional chemists who want a memory aid for learning the 8 principles of Buddhism. I suppose they exist.

  2. Has anyone asked him what the benefit of his research is? Even if science is Buddhism or whatever correlation is attempting to be made... Why should I give a shit?

    Does he present ANY practical application for this "holy grail?"

    Reading about the life of Einstein is anecdotal... and while interesting, reading about his life won't help you resume his work... just like making correlations about the possible subtext origin of the word Tryptophan doesn't tell you anything about the actual chemical. Point of this paragraph being that I bet Mr. Green fashions himself a scientist. Nay, Mr. Green is a muse.

    "Are you not entertained?!?!?!"

    "No, actually, I'm not."

    1. I can't help but parse my two sentences above.

      The question, when spoken aloud, is transgressive to the listener. The strong incredulousness of the phrase commands you to disagree, even if you actually do agree!
      "Hang on a second, there, buddy. I AM entertained."

      My proper response should be:
      "Yes, I am not entertained."

      But then again, the first word "No" could be used to show agreement.
      "No. I am not entertained."

      But then, with the double negative (math would dictate the negating items are removed), you are disagreeing that you are.

      Basically, if a Gladiator kills a bunch of dudes and then asks the less than enthusiastic audience "Are you NOT entertained?", it would confuse everyone if a person jumped up and said "YES!"

      There are people in my bubble that have English as a second (third, fourth) language and they all say that it is the most difficult to learn.

      In my objectivity I think I would have to agree that English speakers spend a lot of time trying to explain to people what it was that they just said.

      and why does die turn into dying? Where did the "Y" come from? Those who dictate the written language could not reconcile "dieing" so they're like "Screw it, make it sound phonetical and throw a 'Y' in there. Ahhh, we achieve the sound with only two letters! Dying!"

      Off-topic. Then again, if Mr. Green gets to be a muse, I don't want to be chopped liver.