Allow me to make it clear right at the outset that in general, I disapprove of crime.
Most crimes are designated as such because they harm innocent people, either materially or physically. This is something that a moral person would naturally deplore, and is why just about every culture out there, from empire down to the smallest village, has rules outlawing such behaviors.
Still, every once in a while, you run into a criminal who is just so damned clever that you have to admit some grudging admiration, if not an outright, "Why didn't I think of this first?"
But before I tell you about the criminal I'm thinking of, some background.
Perhaps you've heard of the phenomenon of "micronations." These are small tracts of land, usually owned by cranks, rogues, misfits, wags, or malcontents, which have been declared "free and sovereign nations." These declarations are universally ignored by the parent country, but this hasn't stopped the aforementioned cranks et al. from founding a good many of them. (See the Wikipedia list, with descriptions, here.) The commonality across the lot is that the leaders seem to trumpet fairly loudly but then make sure to fly under the radar when it comes to potential unpleasantness. For example, the Principality of Hutt River (formerly a part of Australia) regularly has its taxes paid to Australia by its founder, Crown Prince Leonard I (formerly Leonard Casley), with the proviso that the tax check is to be considered "a gift from one world leader to another."
I find this whole phenomenon simultaneously charming and perplexing. Perplexing because (with the exception of the handful who have clearly set the whole thing up as a joke), these people seem to take themselves awfully seriously. Consider the Principality of Sealand, which consists solely of one abandoned military staging platform in the North Sea. Take a look at Sealand's webpage (of course it has a webpage). Reading through that, and the other assorted websites for micronations, leaves me thinking, "Are you people loonies? Or what?"
On the other hand, it is somewhat charming, in a twisted, Duchy of Grand Fenwick sort of way. The majority of the self-proclaimed nobility from micronations seem to be doing no real harm. Let them issue their own currency, stamps, and legal documents. Hey, if it gives them a hobby, then why not? I don't think it's really any crazier than many other hobbies, such as collecting beer bottle caps or doing Civil War battle re-enactments.
And then, the depressive existentialist side of my personality has to pipe up and ask, "Why is this so different from what all countries are doing?" Countries only exist because a group of people with adequate weaponry have decided to band together, declare that they have the right to draw a line on the ground across which None Shall Pass, and tell everyone what they can and can't do. The lines are mostly arbitrary, and a good many of the laws seem to be as well. (Imagine trying to explain to an alien why on the north side of an invisible line on the ground, LGBTQ+ people can marry, and on the south side, they can't. I think all you'd get from the alien is mild puzzlement, up until the point where he decides that there really isn't any intelligent life on Earth, and vaporizes you with his laser pistol.)
So then, what's the difference between micronations and regular nations? There's this thing called "recognition" -- that other countries recognize the existence of a legitimate nation. So, because the United States is pretending not to notice the Republic of Molossia (a totalitarian dictatorship, formerly part of Nevada), it doesn't exist? It's a little like a three-year-old covering his eyes and concluding that everyone he can't see is gone.
Of course, recognition isn't everything. There are also diplomatic ties -- who are you willing to negotiate with? But that gets a little dicey, too, because there are countries that clearly exist by most people's definition (e.g. Cuba) but with whom we have no diplomatic relations. So, apparently you only exist if (1) we are willing to admit you exist, and (2) we both agree to send people to meet at a five-star hotel to drink hundred-dollar-a-glass wine and discuss how much our people want to cooperate, despite our differences and our occasional desire to annihilate each other?
Sorry for being cynical. But so much of politics seems to me to be high-stakes game playing, not so very far advanced from the Inner Circles and Exclusive Clubs that middle schoolers dream up, with the only difference being that middle schoolers aren't capable of blowing each other up with tactical nuclear weapons. Yet.
Anyhow, all this is background. So without further ado, allow me to introduce you to Harsh Vardhan Jain, of Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh, India.
Jain took the whole micronation thing and raised it to the level of performance art. He created four of them, all on small tracts of uninhabited land in various places around the world, naming them West Arctica, Saborga, Poulvia, and Lodonia. He then not only produced documents, postage stamps, and currency for each one, he had his modest, two story house in Ghaziabad registered as an embassy. He digitally altered photographs to make it look like he was hobnobbing with high-ranking dignitaries, up to and including the president of India. He created shell companies, supposedly headquartered in the micronations -- but requiring contact through the auspices of the embassy (because of course, correspondence addressed to "Saborga" or "Poulvia" would never arrive). He acted not only as ambassador but as a broker, luring in investors.
And amazingly, people fell for it. Lots of people. Me, if I was investing overseas, I think I'd at least take the time to look up the country where the company was located, and find out if it actually exists. As astonishing as it sounds, this did not happen. Enough people invested in Jain's micronations that when he was arrested last week, police found four vehicles with fake diplomatic plates, twelve forged diplomatic passports (representing all four micronations), fake documents bearing the seal of the Indian Ministry of External Affairs, two forged PAN cards (the Indian equivalent of a Social Security card), two fake press cards, thirty-four different rubber stamps with official logos and symbols from various countries and organizations, faked documents from all of his various shell companies, and 4,470,000 rupees in cash (a little over fifty thousand dollars US).
Jain is now being held in prison in Ghaziabad pending trial.
You might know the Yiddish word chutzpah. Chutzpah is kind of synonymous with the English "audacity" or "gall" (as in "you have a lot of gall"), but with overtones of a cheerful, in-your-face brazenness. Chutzpah, they say, is the guy who killed his parents and then threw himself on the mercy of the court because he was an orphan.
Harsh Vardhan Jain has a shitload of chutzpah.
I mean, he didn't do it by half-measures, did he? And what astounds me is that he got away with it for years. I'm not sure how the authorities figured it out -- the source I linked is unclear on the point -- but what's certain is that he had just about everyone hoodwinked, and was living the high life as ambassador of West Arctica for way longer than you'd think possible.
And I have to admit that I can't help but doff my hat to him.
It's entirely fair that he's being charged with business fraud, forgery, and various other crimes, but at least he was creative about it. I'd take criminals like him over the current bunch of ignorant, racist, pedophile-enabling fascists we have running this country in a heartbeat.
At least Jain has panache, you know?
Anyhow, if you want to contact me with a response to this post, or send along some much-needed foreign aid, you can reach me at the imperial castle of the Great and Glorious Empire of Perry City. You may address your correspondence to my personal secretary, Jethro LaFlooffe, who will get right on it once he's done taking a very important nap. Unfortunately, he's as likely to eat your letter as to pass it along to me, so be forewarned. Assuming it eventually reaches my desk, though, I'm happy to consider any official request for diplomatic recognition between my country and yours.
You know, as one sovereign nation to another.
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