In the iconic movie (and book) Jurassic Park, scientists use genetic technology -- and samples of blood from the stomachs of mosquitoes preserved in amber -- to recreate various dinosaur species. With, of course, terrible results, being that in science fiction, nothing good ever comes out of scientists trying to "play god." Various people were messily devoured, and the ones that escaped (barely) were left to ponder if it was possible for scientific research to go too far.
We seem to be at the point of finding out.
Not, of course, that it will be dinosaur-era animals, at least not at first. Way too little DNA is left intact in fossilized remains from 65-plus-million years ago to pull a Jurassic Park-style trick and resurrect, say, the Pteranodon (always one of my favorites). But we will, in, short order, see the first reborn extinct species created in a lab.
The best candidate for the winner in this Race to Raise the Dead is likely to be the Gastric-brooding Frog, a bizarre amphibian species from Australia that gets its name from the females' behavior of carrying their tadpoles around in their stomachs. The frog was declared extinct in the wild in 1979, and the last captive individual died in 1983.
The technique is simple to describe, and immensely difficult in practice; obtain DNA samples from preserved specimens, insert that DNA into the fertilized egg cell of a related species that has had its own DNA removed, and hopefully this zygote will begin to divide and develop -- into an individual of the species that donated the DNA.
Of course, a million things can go wrong. The role of genetic switches in development is still a new area of research; it's known that your DNA when you were an embryo was different than your DNA is now, especially with regards to which segments were being actively transcribed and which were not. In order to get this technique to work, the nucleotides in DNA not only have to be in the correct sequence, the genes encoded therein have to turn on and turn off in a tightly-orchestrated fashion in order to produce a normal individual.
The hurdles, however, haven't discouraged scientists in this field. The research team working on the Gastric-brooding Frog, led by Mike Archer of the University of New South Wales, has actually gotten the genetically altered embryonic cells to divide, apparently in a completely normal fashion, which has encouraged other groups working toward the same goal. In the United States, a group called "Revive and Restore" is trying to bring back the Passenger Pigeon, once the most abundant bird in North America, which was driven to extinction by overhunting in 1914.
And Ben Novak, of the Passenger Pigeon "de-extinction" project, believes that it is only a matter of time. "This whole idea that extinction is forever is just nonsense," he said, in an interview in Forbes. "Someone could make a major breakthrough in next two years."
Me, I'm of two minds about this. As a biologist, I have to say that the whole idea is just tremendously cool. The idea that I could one day see a formerly extinct animal, alive and well, is just thrilling. I'd give a lot to see a Thylacine, a Carolina Parakeet, a Moa, a Kaua'i O'o, or a Giant Ground Sloth. And what about more remote animals, ones from further back? How would you like to be eye-to-eye with a Brontops?
Of course, the more distant in the past you reach, the more difficult the procedure becomes. Not only has any DNA from prehistoric animals had longer to degrade, often to the point of there being no useful fragments left, there's the problem of finding a related species in whose eggs you could do the insertion process. Whether Gastric-brooding Frogs and Passenger Pigeons will return soon is a matter of conjecture, but it is nearly certain that seeing a Brontops stomping around in your garden is a far more remote possibility, one which may never be realized.
Then, of course, there are the inevitable ethical issues surrounding resurrecting extinct species. The time of the Passenger Pigeon, for example, is long past -- when there were thousands of square miles of trackless forest in the eastern half of North America. This bird only survived well in huge flocks (tens of thousands of individuals), which "darkened the skies when they flew over," according to accounts of people who saw them. One, two, or even a couple of dozen of birds would be nothing more than a curiosity -- it would not be the same as truly reintroducing the species, a goal that is probably impossible due to the changes in the ecosystem.
But still, it's a fascinating idea. For me, the coolness factor outweighs my ethical qualms, which probably isn't a good thing to admit. Be that as it may, it is absolutely stunning how far science has come since the last Passenger Pigeon closed her eyes in death in 1914. The ways in which the world has changed are far deeper, and more meaningful, than the visible alterations in the landscape. And it looks like very soon, one of the laws we thought was an absolute -- extinction is forever -- may be overturned.
Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Bargain basement miracles
You know, the quality of miracles has really gone down, of late.
Back in biblical days, god really knew how to conjure up a miracle, didn't he? Consider the following:
But these days? Yesterday, on Glenn Beck's website The Blaze, Billy Hallowell posted a piece called "3 Real-Life 'Miracles' That Took Place on the Set of The Bible." Most of you have probably heard about the Mark Burnett/Roma Downey production that dramatizes the stories of biblical times, which debuted on March 3 and which has received critical acclaim (most of the critics I read acclaimed, "Meh"). But now Hallowell -- and others -- have put forth a stunning statement: that there were some genuine miracles that occurred during filming, miracles that not only prove god's existence, but show that he is 100% in favor of Burnett & Downey's film.
So, what are these miracles? Hallowell tells us all about them:
As miracles go, those aren't exactly Grade-A quality, you know what I mean? They're more "KMart Blue-Light Special."
You have to wonder, with all of the increasing disdain for religion you see in Western society, why god is insisting on playing coy with us. It's a bit like the UFO cadre who believe that crop circles are aliens trying to communicate with us, and prove to a doubting populace that extraterrestrials are real. You'd think, being super-intelligent aliens and all, that deciding to land in Times Square would occur to them as, on the whole, a more convincing alternative. Likewise, if god really is invested in proving to humanity that he exists, the wind blowing is just not doing it for me.
Okay, yeah, I know the biblical passage about god being the "still, small voice" (1Kings 19:11-13). But you know, that just won't wash. God was sure as hell not a "still, small voice" when he smote 50,070 people for looking at the Ark of the Covenant (1Samuel 6:19). So, what's going on, here?
Now, mind you, I'm not saying that god smiting fifty-thousand-odd people day after tomorrow would be a good thing. That's a whole city's worth of people, for pete's sake, and there are no cities that have no redeeming features, even if you include Newark. But some of the less smiteful miracles would sure do a lot to convince us doubters.
In any case, Hallowell's article ends with the line, "What do you think — mere coincidences or evidence of God’s intervention? You decide."
Okay, thanks, I will. And my decision is: coincidences. And in the case of the wind, it was: the wind. If those are what pass for miracles these days, all I can say is that heaven's Quality Control Department sure is slacking.
Back in biblical days, god really knew how to conjure up a miracle, didn't he? Consider the following:
- God makes Balaam's donkey talk (Numbers 22:21-31)
- Jesus feeds "a great multitude" with five loaves and two fish (Matthew 14:13-21)
- Joshua makes the Earth stop rotating so he can finish a very important battle (Joshua 10:13)
- Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-44)
- Moses parts the Red Sea and drowns lots of Egyptians (Exodus 14:1-30)
- God smites the crap out of Sodom and Gomorrah, and turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt for having second thoughts (Genesis 19:24-26)
- God makes the entire Syrian army go blind, and then cures them all a few minutes later (2Kings 6:18-20)
But these days? Yesterday, on Glenn Beck's website The Blaze, Billy Hallowell posted a piece called "3 Real-Life 'Miracles' That Took Place on the Set of The Bible." Most of you have probably heard about the Mark Burnett/Roma Downey production that dramatizes the stories of biblical times, which debuted on March 3 and which has received critical acclaim (most of the critics I read acclaimed, "Meh"). But now Hallowell -- and others -- have put forth a stunning statement: that there were some genuine miracles that occurred during filming, miracles that not only prove god's existence, but show that he is 100% in favor of Burnett & Downey's film.
So, what are these miracles? Hallowell tells us all about them:
1) When they were filming the scene where Jesus is talking to Nicodemus about the Holy Spirit, the "wind literally picked up on its own."And I'm thinking: that's the best you can do? The wind "picking up on its own?" (Because apparently under normal circumstances, the wind only blows when it's encouraged to.) Some snakes... in a freakin' desert? A kid returning a prop when everybody in a hundred-mile radius knew there was a movie being filmed?
2) Burnett and Downey had hired a "snake wrangler" to round up any poisonous snakes that might be in the set area and potentially threaten cast or crew. Before they were going to film the crucifixion scene, the "snake wrangler" found 48 snakes.
3) During the filming of the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist, an "irreplaceable" piece of Jesus' costume came loose and floated away. It was later found and returned by a kid who lived nearby.
As miracles go, those aren't exactly Grade-A quality, you know what I mean? They're more "KMart Blue-Light Special."
You have to wonder, with all of the increasing disdain for religion you see in Western society, why god is insisting on playing coy with us. It's a bit like the UFO cadre who believe that crop circles are aliens trying to communicate with us, and prove to a doubting populace that extraterrestrials are real. You'd think, being super-intelligent aliens and all, that deciding to land in Times Square would occur to them as, on the whole, a more convincing alternative. Likewise, if god really is invested in proving to humanity that he exists, the wind blowing is just not doing it for me.
Okay, yeah, I know the biblical passage about god being the "still, small voice" (1Kings 19:11-13). But you know, that just won't wash. God was sure as hell not a "still, small voice" when he smote 50,070 people for looking at the Ark of the Covenant (1Samuel 6:19). So, what's going on, here?
Now, mind you, I'm not saying that god smiting fifty-thousand-odd people day after tomorrow would be a good thing. That's a whole city's worth of people, for pete's sake, and there are no cities that have no redeeming features, even if you include Newark. But some of the less smiteful miracles would sure do a lot to convince us doubters.
In any case, Hallowell's article ends with the line, "What do you think — mere coincidences or evidence of God’s intervention? You decide."
Okay, thanks, I will. And my decision is: coincidences. And in the case of the wind, it was: the wind. If those are what pass for miracles these days, all I can say is that heaven's Quality Control Department sure is slacking.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Digital fingerprints
I've always been fascinated with patterns. Starting with a love for geometric patterns when I was a kid, I remember finding out about the Fibonacci sequence, and then its connection to the Golden Ratio, in 8th grade -- and feeling like I'd touched something magical, some fundamental superstructure of the universe. Then I discovered tessellations, and thought that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Then on to M. C. Escher, Penrose tiles, fractals, the Mandelbrot set...
We're all pattern-finders, really. That's how the human brain works. It's just that some of us are a little more obsessed than others.
Patterns exist all over nature, however chaotic it may appear, and those patterns apply to our behavior, as well. We may think we're spontaneous and unpredictable, but our actions leave traces -- and those traces form patterns. And if you analyze enough of the traces, you can make some pretty shrewd guesses about who left them. This is the basis of a lot of forensic pathology work, and is the fundamental idea behind some fascinating new research out of Cambridge. [Source]
Researchers at the Cambridge Psychometrics Centre developed software that can be used to analyze digital traces left by users -- in this case, Facebook "likes." 58,000 Facebook users agreed to be part of the study, and gave the study group demographic profiles as well as access to their Facebook accounts. After that, the software went to town, coming up with correlations between a variety of demographics and which pages users had "liked."
And here's where even the researchers got a surprise.
Just from the Facebook "likes," the software achieved:
The researchers made a point of checking to see if there were any "red flag" sorts of "likes;" but it turned out that in fact, there weren't, for the most part. The software was quite good at determining sexual preference -- and yet, according to the study, less than 5% of homosexual users had "liked" such pages as "Gay Marriage." (And, it's to be hoped, a good many progressive heterosexuals had "liked" that page as well.) It was the aggregate of all of the person's "likes" that counted, not one or two specific ones. It was the overall pattern that allowed the software to be so eerily accurate.
Of course, this opens up new avenues for data mining -- for good reasons and bad ones. Expect targeted advertisement software to get a lot more sophisticated soon. There could be more dire results, too. "Similar predictions could be made from all manner of digital data, with this kind of secondary ‘inference’ made with remarkable accuracy -- statistically predicting sensitive information people might not want revealed," said Michal Kosinski, director of the study team. "Given the variety of digital traces people leave behind, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for individuals to control... I am a great fan and active user of new amazing technologies, including Facebook. I appreciate automated book recommendations, or Facebook selecting the most relevant stories for my newsfeed. However, I can imagine situations in which the same data and technology is used to predict political views or sexual orientation, posing threats to freedom or even life."
So, naturally, I had to go check out some of the things I'd "liked" on Facebook. And no, unfortunately, "Curly Fries" wasn't one of them. Here are a few of mine:
Music:
Also, of course, the problem may just be that I don't "like" "Curly Fries."
- 88% accuracy at determining gender
- 95% accuracy at telling African Americans from other ethnic groups
- 85% accuracy at telling Republicans from Democrats
- 82% accuracy at determining religious affiliation
- between 65% and 72% accuracy at determining relationship status
- between 65% and 72% accuracy at determining whether the user engaged in substance abuse
- 60% accuracy in determining if the user's parents were divorced
- "high" (but unstated, in the sources I read) accuracy at detecting such traits as extroversion, emotional stability, and openness
- a correlation between liking "Curly Fries" and high IQ (no, I didn't make that up)
- Beck
- J. S. Bach
- Fun
- Angélique Kidjo
- Fiona Apple (okay, I have pretty eclectic musical tastes)
- Foucault's Pendulum
- Richard Dawkins
- Terry Pratchett
- Lord of the Rings
- Watership Down
- The Usual Suspects
- Vanilla Sky
- The Matrix
- Ruthless People
- O Brother, Where Art Thou?
- I "Heart" Huckabee's
- Dogma
- Memento
- Scotland, PA
- The X Files
- Arrested Development
- Seinfeld
- Northern Exposure
- Scuba Diving
- Wine Tasting
- Travel
- Writing
- Music Performance
- Kolibri Birdwatching Tours
- This American Life
- George Rodrigue (an artist I really like)
- Cthulhu
- The Tattoo Page
- Americans Against Protestors at Military Funerals
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Adiós, Hugo
Well, Hugo Chávez is dead and buried. This fact thrills the hell out of some people, who hated his bombastic style and anti-American rhetoric, and disappoints others, who saw Chávez in the David role against the Goliath of "American imperialism."
Whichever version you go for, I don't think that anyone can argue with the fact that he was an odd, odd man. He would periodically go on long, rambling diatribes about... stuff. Sometimes it was hard to tell what, exactly, he was talking about, such as the time he claimed that life on Mars was destroyed by "imperialist capitalism." Then there was the time he mentioned "human beings who have human shape but are not" -- giving rise to speculations that he was talking about the Reptilians. (Of course, many of these same people who speculate that Chávez had inside information about Reptilians also believe that Lady Gaga is a Reptilian, so perhaps it behooves us to take this with a grain of salt.)
Be that as it may, I think we can all agree that Chávez was quite a peculiar character.
So it should come as no surprise that we now have claims that (1) he was killed by the Illuminati, and (2) that aliens came to his funeral.
Yup. Poor Chávez didn't die of ordinary liver cancer; he died of "weaponized cancer," and was killed by "by a special Satellite Weapon designed to deliver a wave of Radio Active [sic] Signal to the Body which delievers [sic] Tumors to the Body." (Source) Chávez was a hero, the author says, who was taken out because he "knew too much" and because he was standing up against the "New World Order."
What exactly Chávez "knew" is open to question. He certainly seemed to have limited knowledge about Mars, for example. As far as his standing up against the "New World Order," whatever the hell that actually is, it seems like mostly who he stood up to was George W. Bush (whom he referred to variously as a "birdie," a "donkey," and "the devil"). And, honestly, I can't fault him for that. I'm not a particularly political person, but I have to admit to having questioned GWB's morals, ethics, and IQ on numerous occasions myself.
Other than that, Chávez seems to have been a bit of a rambling nutjob, but certainly not as bad as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong Un in the Dangerous Wacko Department. If the Illuminati are beaming tumors into world leaders, Chávez seems like an odd place to start.
But of course, we have additional corroboration of his importance in the Grand Scheme of Things from the fact that the aliens thought him worthy enough to attend his funeral. Well, to be fair, they didn't actually walk in, enormous black eyes brimming over with tears, blowing their, um, nostril-holes on space hankies. But they did send a spaceship to salute Chávez as he bid farewell to this planet:
What? You don't find that convincing? Just because we need a great big arrow even to see where the spaceship is in the photograph? Just because it could be damn near anything, from a fleck of dust on the camera lens to a distant pigeon? Just because if there really had been a spaceship, hovering over a heavily populated part of Caracas in broad daylight, someone would have seen it and gotten a better shot of it?
So, okay, maybe not. But you have to admit that if anyone deserved having aliens pay their respects, it was Chávez. Even if he wasn't right about life on Mars being wiped out by capitalism, and he wasn't done in by Death Rays From Space, he still was strange enough that his passing deserved some kind of spectacular gesture. Especially given that at the time, Lady Gaga was in a Top Secret Meeting with the other scaly-skinned non-human Reptilians (I hear they include Hillary Clinton, John Boehner, and Keith Richards, the last-mentioned of which I can hardly argue with), and so she couldn't make it down to say goodbye.
So, anyway, farewell, Hugo. I may not have liked your politics much, but I have to admit that you were always impressive in the inadvertent humor department. And even if you died of a perfectly ordinary disease, and the aliens actually didn't show up for your funeral, you still were a colorful, memorable man, and in this strange and chaotic world, maybe that's the best you can hope for.
Whichever version you go for, I don't think that anyone can argue with the fact that he was an odd, odd man. He would periodically go on long, rambling diatribes about... stuff. Sometimes it was hard to tell what, exactly, he was talking about, such as the time he claimed that life on Mars was destroyed by "imperialist capitalism." Then there was the time he mentioned "human beings who have human shape but are not" -- giving rise to speculations that he was talking about the Reptilians. (Of course, many of these same people who speculate that Chávez had inside information about Reptilians also believe that Lady Gaga is a Reptilian, so perhaps it behooves us to take this with a grain of salt.)
Be that as it may, I think we can all agree that Chávez was quite a peculiar character.
So it should come as no surprise that we now have claims that (1) he was killed by the Illuminati, and (2) that aliens came to his funeral.
Yup. Poor Chávez didn't die of ordinary liver cancer; he died of "weaponized cancer," and was killed by "by a special Satellite Weapon designed to deliver a wave of Radio Active [sic] Signal to the Body which delievers [sic] Tumors to the Body." (Source) Chávez was a hero, the author says, who was taken out because he "knew too much" and because he was standing up against the "New World Order."
What exactly Chávez "knew" is open to question. He certainly seemed to have limited knowledge about Mars, for example. As far as his standing up against the "New World Order," whatever the hell that actually is, it seems like mostly who he stood up to was George W. Bush (whom he referred to variously as a "birdie," a "donkey," and "the devil"). And, honestly, I can't fault him for that. I'm not a particularly political person, but I have to admit to having questioned GWB's morals, ethics, and IQ on numerous occasions myself.
Other than that, Chávez seems to have been a bit of a rambling nutjob, but certainly not as bad as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong Un in the Dangerous Wacko Department. If the Illuminati are beaming tumors into world leaders, Chávez seems like an odd place to start.
But of course, we have additional corroboration of his importance in the Grand Scheme of Things from the fact that the aliens thought him worthy enough to attend his funeral. Well, to be fair, they didn't actually walk in, enormous black eyes brimming over with tears, blowing their, um, nostril-holes on space hankies. But they did send a spaceship to salute Chávez as he bid farewell to this planet:
What? You don't find that convincing? Just because we need a great big arrow even to see where the spaceship is in the photograph? Just because it could be damn near anything, from a fleck of dust on the camera lens to a distant pigeon? Just because if there really had been a spaceship, hovering over a heavily populated part of Caracas in broad daylight, someone would have seen it and gotten a better shot of it?
So, okay, maybe not. But you have to admit that if anyone deserved having aliens pay their respects, it was Chávez. Even if he wasn't right about life on Mars being wiped out by capitalism, and he wasn't done in by Death Rays From Space, he still was strange enough that his passing deserved some kind of spectacular gesture. Especially given that at the time, Lady Gaga was in a Top Secret Meeting with the other scaly-skinned non-human Reptilians (I hear they include Hillary Clinton, John Boehner, and Keith Richards, the last-mentioned of which I can hardly argue with), and so she couldn't make it down to say goodbye.
So, anyway, farewell, Hugo. I may not have liked your politics much, but I have to admit that you were always impressive in the inadvertent humor department. And even if you died of a perfectly ordinary disease, and the aliens actually didn't show up for your funeral, you still were a colorful, memorable man, and in this strange and chaotic world, maybe that's the best you can hope for.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
The shield of intolerance
It's time people stop getting a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card for acting like assholes as long as they say, "I'm doing this because of my religion."
I say this because of two bills that have come up nearly simultaneously -- hardly a coincidence -- in Kentucky and Tennessee. The Kentucky bill, House Bill 279, allows "sincerely held religious beliefs" to trump anti-discrimination laws. In Tennessee, Senate Bill 514 allows graduate students in social work, counseling, or psychology to refuse to serve individuals as part of their practicum if to do so runs counter to their "deeply held religious beliefs." And even though neither bill says so in so many words, no one is in the least doubt about which group these bills are targeting -- the same group that has been the target of religious-based discrimination for as long as I can remember. (Add that to the "Don't Say Gay" bill in Tennessee, still on the books, that prohibits teachers and other school staff from discussing homosexuality in public schools -- and which, in one interpretation, would allow school staff to "out" LGBT students to their parents against their wills.)
At what point do rational individuals have to simply stand up and say "enough?" No, you can no longer hide behind the shield of your religion in order to justify your intolerance, narrow-mindedness, hatred, ignorance, and bigotry. No, you can not simply choose to ignore overwhelming evidence from scientific research that homosexuality is an innate characteristic, and that calling it a "lifestyle choice" is about as sensible as using that term to describe my blond hair and blue eyes. No, you can no longer use your leverage as a Religious Person to ramrod your beliefs into law in a country where church and state are supposed to be separate.
Yes, I know all religious people aren't like that. But too many of the ones who aren't are content to let the ones who are speak for the whole. And it's not just Christianity; Religion as a whole, capital "R," has a hell of a lot to answer for. If we're looking to point fingers, we can't forget Islam, whose apologists keep calling it "a religion of peace," but whose most ardent practitioners burn down the houses of people with different beliefs because they're "blasphemers." Whose scholars sent a professor of Islamic Studies to a talk at University College - London -- and the professor refused to speak unless the audience was segregated by gender. Whose government leaders have condoned the flogging of a 15-year-old girl with a hundred lashes because she had premarital sex -- when she was actually raped repeatedly by her stepfather.
I wonder how much more it will take. What further atrocities will have to happen before a majority of the people in this world have had enough? I mean, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see what the fanatic fringe of religion is capable of. These are the folks who created a reign of terror in northern Mali, an atrocity that we are only now beginning to understand. They are the ones who killed tens of thousands of "heretics" -- many of them after horrific torture -- during the European Middle Ages. They are the ones who destroyed the heritage of whole cultures in the name of sanctity -- the Bamiyan Buddhas, the quipus of the Inca, the priceless scrolls and books in the Library of Alexandria.
They are the ones who flew fully-loaded jet airplanes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon.
I wish that the kind, rational, sensible, and compassionate people on the Earth -- whom I fervently, desperately believe are the majority -- would stand up and say to these lunatics, "You had your shot at ruling the world. The time when religion drove the rule of law is over -- and, by the way, it is no coincidence that it was called 'the Dark Ages.'" I wish they would say, "You are free to worship whomever you please, and engage in whatever rituals you choose -- in your churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples. But you cannot any longer take those institutions and try to remold nations in their image. You cannot any longer use your religious ideology to justify making an entire segment of society walk in fear."
And if they can't say that, I wish that enough of them would simply say, "You don't speak for me."
But I am afraid that day is not today. For now, the bigots are still in ascendancy. 39 states in the United States, for example, specifically prohibit same-sex marriage -- thirty in their constitutions, and nine by statute. All of these laws are religiously motivated, even if it's cast otherwise -- as if the rights of heterosexual married couples are somehow threatened by granting gays and lesbians the right to marry.
As if the rights of Saudi Arabian men are threatened by allowing women to vote. As if the rights of Muslims are threatened by allowing people of other beliefs -- or no beliefs at all -- to live in peace. As if the rights of heterosexual teens are threatened by even hearing the word "gay" mentioned in school.
To sum up: how dare you act as if your way of life is ever threatened by offering the same rights you have enjoyed your entire damned life to someone else.
I say this because of two bills that have come up nearly simultaneously -- hardly a coincidence -- in Kentucky and Tennessee. The Kentucky bill, House Bill 279, allows "sincerely held religious beliefs" to trump anti-discrimination laws. In Tennessee, Senate Bill 514 allows graduate students in social work, counseling, or psychology to refuse to serve individuals as part of their practicum if to do so runs counter to their "deeply held religious beliefs." And even though neither bill says so in so many words, no one is in the least doubt about which group these bills are targeting -- the same group that has been the target of religious-based discrimination for as long as I can remember. (Add that to the "Don't Say Gay" bill in Tennessee, still on the books, that prohibits teachers and other school staff from discussing homosexuality in public schools -- and which, in one interpretation, would allow school staff to "out" LGBT students to their parents against their wills.)
At what point do rational individuals have to simply stand up and say "enough?" No, you can no longer hide behind the shield of your religion in order to justify your intolerance, narrow-mindedness, hatred, ignorance, and bigotry. No, you can not simply choose to ignore overwhelming evidence from scientific research that homosexuality is an innate characteristic, and that calling it a "lifestyle choice" is about as sensible as using that term to describe my blond hair and blue eyes. No, you can no longer use your leverage as a Religious Person to ramrod your beliefs into law in a country where church and state are supposed to be separate.
Yes, I know all religious people aren't like that. But too many of the ones who aren't are content to let the ones who are speak for the whole. And it's not just Christianity; Religion as a whole, capital "R," has a hell of a lot to answer for. If we're looking to point fingers, we can't forget Islam, whose apologists keep calling it "a religion of peace," but whose most ardent practitioners burn down the houses of people with different beliefs because they're "blasphemers." Whose scholars sent a professor of Islamic Studies to a talk at University College - London -- and the professor refused to speak unless the audience was segregated by gender. Whose government leaders have condoned the flogging of a 15-year-old girl with a hundred lashes because she had premarital sex -- when she was actually raped repeatedly by her stepfather.
I wonder how much more it will take. What further atrocities will have to happen before a majority of the people in this world have had enough? I mean, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see what the fanatic fringe of religion is capable of. These are the folks who created a reign of terror in northern Mali, an atrocity that we are only now beginning to understand. They are the ones who killed tens of thousands of "heretics" -- many of them after horrific torture -- during the European Middle Ages. They are the ones who destroyed the heritage of whole cultures in the name of sanctity -- the Bamiyan Buddhas, the quipus of the Inca, the priceless scrolls and books in the Library of Alexandria.
They are the ones who flew fully-loaded jet airplanes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon.
I wish that the kind, rational, sensible, and compassionate people on the Earth -- whom I fervently, desperately believe are the majority -- would stand up and say to these lunatics, "You had your shot at ruling the world. The time when religion drove the rule of law is over -- and, by the way, it is no coincidence that it was called 'the Dark Ages.'" I wish they would say, "You are free to worship whomever you please, and engage in whatever rituals you choose -- in your churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples. But you cannot any longer take those institutions and try to remold nations in their image. You cannot any longer use your religious ideology to justify making an entire segment of society walk in fear."
And if they can't say that, I wish that enough of them would simply say, "You don't speak for me."
But I am afraid that day is not today. For now, the bigots are still in ascendancy. 39 states in the United States, for example, specifically prohibit same-sex marriage -- thirty in their constitutions, and nine by statute. All of these laws are religiously motivated, even if it's cast otherwise -- as if the rights of heterosexual married couples are somehow threatened by granting gays and lesbians the right to marry.
As if the rights of Saudi Arabian men are threatened by allowing women to vote. As if the rights of Muslims are threatened by allowing people of other beliefs -- or no beliefs at all -- to live in peace. As if the rights of heterosexual teens are threatened by even hearing the word "gay" mentioned in school.
To sum up: how dare you act as if your way of life is ever threatened by offering the same rights you have enjoyed your entire damned life to someone else.
Monday, March 11, 2013
You put the water in the water, and drink it all up...
Let me just say, right up front, that I love my students.
They never fail to give me some optimism for humanity's future. It's true that they sometimes come pre-installed with silly ideas; but I find that the vast majority of them are curious, interested in the world around them, and enjoy being challenged. Given the opportunity to learn some of the skills of critical thinking, they rise, and often exceed, the target.
One student on the hope-for-the-future list is a young man I just met this year who has already supplied me with a number of topics for this blog, putting him in the running for the winner of the Junior Skeptophile Award for 2013. His latest was one that I actually thought was satire for a while -- Poe's Law once again biting us in the ass. But sadly, no, this one is real, which will shock you when you find out what it is.
Homeopathic water.
I'm just going to give you a moment to ponder that one, okay?
Are you thinking, "Wait. That can't mean what it seems to mean." But yes, it does. These people are taking water... and then diluting it a bunch of times, with water. And of course, being that this is homeopathy we're talking about, the more you dilute the water with water, the stronger the water gets. This water is diluted to "30c" -- which is homeopathic parlance for one part water in 10 to the 30th power parts, um, water.
That's some strong water, friends. As a coworker of mine commented, "I'll bet it's really good at curing dehydration."
(Look, I'm not claiming this isn't ridiculous. Don't yell at me.)
Anyway, here's the catch: the water they're diluting is "new water," i.e., just formed from hydrogen and oxygen gas. You dilute the new water with old water, and so on and so forth. There's a whole page devoted to the "proving" of this "remedy." Now, I always want to make sure that I'm being accurate myself, so just to be sure that I understood it, I looked up "proving" on the "Homeopathic Terms" page of HealingWithHomeopathy.net, and I found the following definition:
Well, I wanted more than that, so I went to the wonderful site The Skeptic's Dictionary, and found on their page for homeopathy the following:
So. I guess now we know what water diluted with water is useful for. And in case you're wondering what other treatments are out there, there's a page called "Provings" linked on their website (link provided above) that tells you about other "remedies" these folks have worked on. These include "30c" dilutions of:
So, anyway, I think we can all agree that my student has found quite a treasure-trove of facepalming material, here. But to return to the hopeful note of my opening paragraphs, keep in mind that these young people who, over and over, demonstrate to me that they are capable of high-level critical thinking -- those are our future. With minds like this leaping forward into adulthood, I think we have every reason to be optimistic. Wouldn't it be nice if one day, I can retire from this blog, because I've run out of topics, and this sort of superstitious hocus-pocus is a thing of the past?
I, for one, wouldn't mind that as an outcome, at all.
They never fail to give me some optimism for humanity's future. It's true that they sometimes come pre-installed with silly ideas; but I find that the vast majority of them are curious, interested in the world around them, and enjoy being challenged. Given the opportunity to learn some of the skills of critical thinking, they rise, and often exceed, the target.
One student on the hope-for-the-future list is a young man I just met this year who has already supplied me with a number of topics for this blog, putting him in the running for the winner of the Junior Skeptophile Award for 2013. His latest was one that I actually thought was satire for a while -- Poe's Law once again biting us in the ass. But sadly, no, this one is real, which will shock you when you find out what it is.
Homeopathic water.
I'm just going to give you a moment to ponder that one, okay?
Are you thinking, "Wait. That can't mean what it seems to mean." But yes, it does. These people are taking water... and then diluting it a bunch of times, with water. And of course, being that this is homeopathy we're talking about, the more you dilute the water with water, the stronger the water gets. This water is diluted to "30c" -- which is homeopathic parlance for one part water in 10 to the 30th power parts, um, water.
That's some strong water, friends. As a coworker of mine commented, "I'll bet it's really good at curing dehydration."
(Look, I'm not claiming this isn't ridiculous. Don't yell at me.)
[image courtesy of photographer Derek Jensen and the Wikimedia Commons]
The method used by homeopathic researchers to define the symptom profile of a particular substance. Most provings were done and recorded in the late 1800's, although in the last ten years many homeopathic researchers have begun proving new substances. Provings are a very specific type of research and usually follow a standard protocol.Which, as a definition, kind of sucks. It's as if you defined "physics" as "a body of practice engaged in by physicists, mostly done since the 17th century, following a specific set of rules and standard protocols. That's all you need to know."
Well, I wanted more than that, so I went to the wonderful site The Skeptic's Dictionary, and found on their page for homeopathy the following:
Hahnemann [the founder of homeopathy] experimented on himself with various drugs over several years and concluded that "a doctor should use only those remedies which would have the power to create, in a healthy body, symptoms similar to those that might be seen in the sick person being treated" (Williams, Guy R. The Age of Miracles: Medicine and Surgery in the Nineteenth Century (Academy Chicago Publishers 1981).)... (He) called this method of finding what symptoms a drug caused in a healthy person a "proving."So, what they did, with the water diluted in water, is to give it to healthy people, and see what symptoms they developed. And man, did these people develop symptoms! Here are a few of over a hundred results, copied right from the "Materia Medica" page on "Aqua Nova" (which is what they call their water diluted in water):
I have felt invisible over the last few days, and with one particular person, it was as though I hadn't existed as she hadn't thought of me. People didn't register my presence.All I can say is: if any of my readers participated in this study, I don't want to know about it. And please don't come for a visit. It might seem harsh, but I don't really want to hang out with invisible large-beaked birds who are experiencing twitching eyes, nose spasms, and massive farts, however "erotic and relaxed" they're feeling.
Feel very light headed as though the top of my head, from the eyes upward, has dissolved and I am merging into the atmosphere.
Husband says I am more erotic and relaxed sexually. I feel more relaxed and less sensitive, physically and emotionally.
Can't stop drawing spirals while taking notes. I concentrate better if I draw those spirals.
I had this strange feeling of being a bird with a large beak. My nose felt as if it coming outward and down to meet my chin, which was also coming outward and up. My face felt contorted. My tongue was being squeezed into a very small space.
Twitch in left eye, underneath, lasts about 2 hours.
The end of my nose is in spasm, intermittently through out the day.
Flatulence: lots.
So. I guess now we know what water diluted with water is useful for. And in case you're wondering what other treatments are out there, there's a page called "Provings" linked on their website (link provided above) that tells you about other "remedies" these folks have worked on. These include "30c" dilutions of:
- heroin
- blood from an AIDS patient
- antimatter
- basaltic lava
- cockroaches
- blood and feathers from a Peregrine Falcon
- slate
- LSD
- a latex condom
- herring
- a road-killed badger
So, anyway, I think we can all agree that my student has found quite a treasure-trove of facepalming material, here. But to return to the hopeful note of my opening paragraphs, keep in mind that these young people who, over and over, demonstrate to me that they are capable of high-level critical thinking -- those are our future. With minds like this leaping forward into adulthood, I think we have every reason to be optimistic. Wouldn't it be nice if one day, I can retire from this blog, because I've run out of topics, and this sort of superstitious hocus-pocus is a thing of the past?
I, for one, wouldn't mind that as an outcome, at all.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Weekend wrap-up
It's been a busy week, here at Worldwide Wacko Watch. I and my investigative team (made up of my two highly-trained dogs, Doolin and Grendel) have dug up some wonderful stories that will hopefully not make you lose complete faith in the intelligence of the human race.
First, from Indonesia, we have word that there is a law being drafted that will make black magic illegal. Not only will casting spells and harming someone be punishable by jail time, even claiming to be able to do so will be considered a criminal offense. Khatibul Umam Wiranu, an MP from the Democrat Party, believes that these measures are necessary to protect the populace from evil magicians. But, he cautions, any charges of witchcraft filed should be "based on fact finding, not [just] on someone's statement."
Well, that should at least make it less likely anyone's going to be arrested.
Other proposed changes to the penal code include increasing jail time for such crimes as having sex with someone you're not married to.
The best part? Proponents of the new laws are calling this a push to "modernize" Indonesia's out-of-date criminal code, which was last revised in 1918. Because worrying about who's getting laid by whom, and claiming that the creepy-looking old lady down the street is a witch, is so 21st century.
Go a few hundred miles north into China, and we find our second story, which is a "beauty treatment" called "huǒ liáo" that involves setting your face on fire. [Source]
I thought that mooshing charcoal paste and nightingale poop extract on your skin was the dumbest beauty treatment I'd ever heard, but this one takes the prize. Huǒ liáo consists of soaking a towel in alcohol and a "secret elixir," and the practitioner putting it on your face or other "problem area" and then setting it ablaze. The practitioner is supposed to quickly smother the fire with another towel. Don't believe me? Here's a picture of someone having the treatment:
Nope, I see nothing at all that could possibly go wrong with that.
When asked about the treatment, a doctor who specializes in "natural cures," Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, said, "While alcohol will help carry whatever is in the elixir into the body, it's not really necessary to light it on fire. However, one explanation is that extreme heat triggers an adrenaline response which can shift your body's chemistry, improving some symptoms like indigestion and slow metabolism."
You know, if I want an adrenaline rush, I'll just go ziplining or ride a roller coaster. Anyone who needs to set his/her face on fire in order to get an "adrenaline response" has other problems besides dull skin.
Next, we have a story in from Spain that someone has discovered a carving in some stonework in a cathedral that dates from the 12th century that depicts...
... an astronaut.
The carving, which apparently shows a guy in an Apollo-program-style space suit, is on the Cathedral of Salamanca. Want to take a look? Here you go:
Of course, this has given multiple orgasms to the whole "ancient astronauts" crew, the ones who think that Chariots of the Gods is Holy Writ, who think the pyramids were built by aliens, and so on. The only problem is, the cathedral was renovated in 1992, and this stonework was clearly added then by an artist with a sense of humor. In fact, Snopes.com has a page on this claim, and they even found an article in a Portuguese newspaper that described the figure:
In any case, this brings us to our last story, which is about a petition that is currently out there to save planet Earth from an extraterrestrial attack. How, exactly, signing a petition is going to help, I don't know. Maybe when the aliens get here, and are on the verge of blowing us to smithereens with their laser cannons, we can shout, "No! You can't do that! WE HAVE A PETITION!" Maybe the idea is that if enough people sign it, governments will for god's sake do something, such as to deploy a protective shield around the Earth in the fashion of the historical documentary Men in Black III. I dunno.
In any case, the petition has currently garnered a whole fourteen signatures. They're shooting for 100,000. You can sign if you want to. Me, I probably won't. My general feeling is that any species that modernizes laws by outlawing witchcraft and premarital sex, and considers setting your face on fire a beauty treatment, deserves everything it gets.
First, from Indonesia, we have word that there is a law being drafted that will make black magic illegal. Not only will casting spells and harming someone be punishable by jail time, even claiming to be able to do so will be considered a criminal offense. Khatibul Umam Wiranu, an MP from the Democrat Party, believes that these measures are necessary to protect the populace from evil magicians. But, he cautions, any charges of witchcraft filed should be "based on fact finding, not [just] on someone's statement."
Well, that should at least make it less likely anyone's going to be arrested.
Other proposed changes to the penal code include increasing jail time for such crimes as having sex with someone you're not married to.
The best part? Proponents of the new laws are calling this a push to "modernize" Indonesia's out-of-date criminal code, which was last revised in 1918. Because worrying about who's getting laid by whom, and claiming that the creepy-looking old lady down the street is a witch, is so 21st century.
Go a few hundred miles north into China, and we find our second story, which is a "beauty treatment" called "huǒ liáo" that involves setting your face on fire. [Source]
I thought that mooshing charcoal paste and nightingale poop extract on your skin was the dumbest beauty treatment I'd ever heard, but this one takes the prize. Huǒ liáo consists of soaking a towel in alcohol and a "secret elixir," and the practitioner putting it on your face or other "problem area" and then setting it ablaze. The practitioner is supposed to quickly smother the fire with another towel. Don't believe me? Here's a picture of someone having the treatment:
Nope, I see nothing at all that could possibly go wrong with that.
When asked about the treatment, a doctor who specializes in "natural cures," Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, said, "While alcohol will help carry whatever is in the elixir into the body, it's not really necessary to light it on fire. However, one explanation is that extreme heat triggers an adrenaline response which can shift your body's chemistry, improving some symptoms like indigestion and slow metabolism."
You know, if I want an adrenaline rush, I'll just go ziplining or ride a roller coaster. Anyone who needs to set his/her face on fire in order to get an "adrenaline response" has other problems besides dull skin.
Next, we have a story in from Spain that someone has discovered a carving in some stonework in a cathedral that dates from the 12th century that depicts...
... an astronaut.
The carving, which apparently shows a guy in an Apollo-program-style space suit, is on the Cathedral of Salamanca. Want to take a look? Here you go:
The renovation of the Cathedral of Salamanca in 1992 integrated modern and contemporary motifs, including a carved figure of an astronaut. The use of this motif was in the tradition of cathedral builders and restorers including contemporary motifs among older ones as a way of signing their works. The person responsible for the restoration, Jeronimo Garcia, chose an astronaut as the symbol of the twentieth century.Well, that sounds pretty unequivocal, doesn't it? Unfortunately, this hasn't convinced anyone except the people who were already skeptical, and all it's done is hooked up the Ancient Astronauts crew with the Conspiracy Theories crew, and now we have claims that the Spanish (and/or Portuguese) governments are covering up the evidence of ancient alien invasion, for god alone knows what reason.
In any case, this brings us to our last story, which is about a petition that is currently out there to save planet Earth from an extraterrestrial attack. How, exactly, signing a petition is going to help, I don't know. Maybe when the aliens get here, and are on the verge of blowing us to smithereens with their laser cannons, we can shout, "No! You can't do that! WE HAVE A PETITION!" Maybe the idea is that if enough people sign it, governments will for god's sake do something, such as to deploy a protective shield around the Earth in the fashion of the historical documentary Men in Black III. I dunno.
In any case, the petition has currently garnered a whole fourteen signatures. They're shooting for 100,000. You can sign if you want to. Me, I probably won't. My general feeling is that any species that modernizes laws by outlawing witchcraft and premarital sex, and considers setting your face on fire a beauty treatment, deserves everything it gets.
Labels:
alien invasion,
aliens,
astronaut,
beauty treatments,
black magic,
criminal law,
huǒ liáo,
Indonesia,
natural health products,
premarital sex,
Salamanca cathedral,
Spain,
witchcraft
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)










